Man… I just had an awesome jaunt through Japan. I misunderstood a web page I read and thought that we had to pay $280 for a week long subway pass. I knew Tokyo was really expensive, so I didn’t question it. The only problem was that this mysterious train pass could only be bought in certain cities, none of which are in Japan. One such city was San Jose, where our stopover was, so we picked up two passes then. As it turns out they only work on some of the subways, but they do work in almost all of the trains that take you between different Japanese cities. Once we realized this, we planned the Ultimate Japanese Day Trip ™.

- First we took an overnight train from Tokyo to Kyoto. Once we got out of the train we saw a huge mass of school kids going to school. Naturally, we followed them. Their walk to school includes walking through a shrine every day. How cool is that? Here’s a picture of me at the shrine :

And here’s another one.

We got to the school, but a very friendly teacher told us that we couldn’t go in today because they were doing standardized testing. He wasn’t at all phased that two strange looking white guys had followed a herd of kids half their size to school.

We turned around and caught a bus to Kinkaku-ju, which is a huge temple completely covered in gold leaf. Don’t believe me? Check it out :

It was further away than we had expected, so our schedule got messed up and we missed the train we wanted to take. Instead we had to pay a little bit extra to go on the Nozomi Shinkansen - the fastest train in the land (that may not be true, but it is the fastest public train in Japan). It was cool. Here are some pictures of that

We took the Nozomi to Kobe, for one reason only. We wanted to eat real Kobe beef in Kobe. For those that don’t know, Kobe beef is the best beef ever. The cows are a special breed that have perfectly marbled fat, and they are fed good diets, given tons of room to roam, and are massaged every day. Read about it in Wikipedia if you want.

We found a very highly regarded Kobe restaurant and went for lunch. It was spectacular. The table had a grill right in front of us where the chef cooked the beef as we watched. To give you an idea of how extravagant it was, I’ll just tell you about the garlic.

The garlic was sliced into uniformly sized wafer thin pieces. The chef monitored each and every one and flipped them several times individually to make sure they were perfectly golden brown on each side. It was totally insane. After all the garlic was finished he inspected it and cooked one piece further that wasn’t brown enough.

The beef was cut into bite sized chunks and each chunk was cooked like a little mini steak. Some we ate plain, some we dipped into soy-mustard sauce, some we ate with salt and/or pepper, and others with garlic. It was amazing. They also served soup, salad, smoked salmon, green tea, and six different kinds of vegetables and tofu. It was one of the best meals I’ve ever had

After our lunch we took another bullet train to Hiroshima. We visited a building that was still left partially standing after the blast, saw the memorial, and toured the A Bomb museum. It was pretty interesting to hear about the whole thing from the Japanese perspective. The best exhibit was a set of two scale models of Hiroshima and the surrounding area. One showed Hiroshima the day before the blast, and the other showed it afterwards. Seeing how 99.9% of EVERYTHING was destroyed was pretty astonishing.

For dinner we went to a very strange place. Three stories of a huge building in downtown Hiroshima are taken up by little restaurants. What’s so strange about that? THEY ALL SERVE THE SAME THING. Seriously… no exceptions. Some were packed, some had one or two people, some had no people. We looked through all three floors and finally picked one that had a lot of Japanese people. They must know something.

The food item they make is a weird Japanese quesadilla thing. On the bottom is a thin savory pancake, and on the top is an egg, and in between is meat (no specification on what kind), lettuce, soba noodles, sprouts, onions, sauce, and possibly some other things. It was good, and a fun experience to see the cook make it in front of you. For some reason all of the Japanese people at the table laughed at us several times. This isn’t an isolated occurrance.

After dinner we walked around and checked out the city. We went through a few stores looking for the hilarious “Engrish” t-shirts everyone wears. I spent $15 or so in coins trying to get a shirt out of a claw machine that said “luxury beauty life”.

Finally we made it to the train station to reserve our seats back to Tokyo. The only problem? We didn’t understand the web site and didn’t realize that only sleeper trains were going back to Tokyo. Our passes didn’t cover sleeper cars, so we’d have to pay $100 each. We tried to find an alternate route, but with no internet and no common language with the ticket counter guy, we resigned to paying. At the last second he told us that there was a direct train to Tokyo which we wouldn’t have to pay extra for. Its hours were perfect, which seemed strange. I hadn’t seen this train online. We hastily agreed to take that train, got our tickets, and headed for the track.

After a few minutes the train pulled into the station. It was taller than most trains, and looking through the windows revealed that at least some of the cars were sleeper cars. We got in the train to discover that we had little beds! The ticket guy hooked us up!

For about $3, we each bought a shower card and got to take a shower on a moving train! It was awesome. The next morning we arrived in Tokyo clean and well rested for another adventure… which I’ll write about next time…

So, I’m in Japan right now. I stayed up all night packing, laundering, and cleaning the kitchen so that it would be pleasant when I got back. Jonah and Evan hung out with me to keep me awake. The best part was that I miscalculated the time and had to race to the bus station at top speed on my electric skateboard with my suitcase on my back. Luckily it’s the best suitcase ever, so that was doable.

Todd and I made no plans prior to our day of departure. No hotel. No tours. Nothing. We didn’t really even read about Japan. Early that morning, though, I scrambled and wrote some posts to craigslist looking for a place to stay. One guy responded, offering a very cheap room with bunk beds near Tokyo. With no better alternatives, we agreed.

Our flight went without incident. I spent it learning Mega Memory, watching Survivor Season 3, and sleeping just enough to get adjusted to Japanese time. Todd took a video of me sleeping, snoring, and tossing my head left and right as I tried to stay situated on the tiny little headrest.

As soon we landed in Japan we walked towards customs talking about our positions on losing our passports. I was open to the possibility of losing mine and getting diplomatically trapped in Japan. Todd wasn’t so keen on the idea. When he took a detour to the bathroom I realized that my wish had been granted. My passport was gone.

I searched my pockets and my bag over and over again but couldn’t find it. In broken English an airline attendant offered to help. She dispatched someone to my seat and he looked - no luck. As a last resort I boarded the plane again and found it. It was under a blanket in the overhead bin.

The subway system here is very logical, well layed out, and easy to understand if you know Japanese. My Japanes vocabulary is on the housepet level, though, so we had a few blunders. Nothing serious, though. Finally we got to Asakusa, where we were to meet our host.

We meandered through the concrete brick paved streets which were flanked by shops that looked like they were out of a Kung Fu movie. Finally we caught a glimpse of our meeting point, Sensoji Temple, which is absolutely amazing.

My healthy eating had to be paused, or at least cut back for the trip. We could hardly order at our first meal, let alone understand what ingredients were in it.

Hopefully my stories will be a little more interesting next time. I’ll have pictures, too.

I know that you think your other blogs love you like I do, but seriously - who brings you stories like this besides me?

Evan and I were hanging out at my place last night. The neighbors were having a party, as they often do, and we could hear it in my room. For some reason I can never hear the blaring music, but it sounds as though the “clip clop” of the hot girls’ stilletos are in my place.

I normally don’t really like parties, but my neighbor has transformed his condo into a high end club, complete with hot tub on the roof and large granite bar. He always has at least two girls to every guy, and the girls are always pretty. It’s tough not to like that party.

Evan and I stop by to say hi. I saw the faces that usually show up at the party as well as the two girls who had found their way to my condo the night before and tried to ride my electric skateboard. I chatted with my neighbor in the entrance for a minute when he said, “Tynan…. let me introduce you to someone”.

We walked into the living room and two girls parted to reveal Mel Gibson standing facing them. I shook his hand, as well as the hand of the star of his new movie, “Apocalypto”, Rudy Youngblood.

“I hear you have a swing set up at your side.”

Everyone who goes to the parties hears about the swing. I guess it made quite an impression. I like it because it gives me something to talk about.

After explaining the swing he asked about my hat. This lead to a spirited debate about my hat. Everyone loves it, except for Evan, who tried to convince people it was hideous. Mel was on my side.

He was a great conversationalist. He never bragged, had really interesting stories, had lots of charisma, and was extremely friendly. I got the impression that he would be the center of attention even if he was a plumber rather than an actor.

We stayed at the party for a few hours. At one point everyone came over to my backyard because Mel wanted to try the swing (”I jumped off of a 175 foot building for a movie - I can try the swing”). However, when I set it up he declared, “No offense, but your setup is shit.” He meant it in the nicest way possible, and talked to me about how it was a good idea but should be done safely.

I wandered back to the neighbor’s to rejoin the party. I talked with Rudy, which was very interesting. He’s never been in a movie before, but now he’s the star of a huge movie, and is about to be catapulted into stardom. I’ve known a reasonable number of famous people, but I’d never met someone who was on that cusp of fame before. The blend of pride, anxiety, and confusion was fascinating. “It hasn’t really hit me yet,” he said.

He loved talking about the movie and told me a lot of interesting things about it, and the industry. He talked about being chased by a jaguar for the movie, about being in the jungle, and about how Harry Knowles is important to Hollywood.

After a while I decided to head back to my place to see what was going on there. Mel Gibson was on the couch with his knee against a girl’s back.

Huh?

He was performing some chiropractic maneuver on her. He wasn’t faking, either - he knew a lot about it. He cracked Evan’s back and she said that he was as good as any chiropractor. The girl whose back he was re-aligning was smitten, but it was obvious he wasn’t interested in her - just in his chiropractics.

He left to go get a red bull (he doesn’t drink anymore), and there was a silence as Evan, that girl, and I looked at each other.

“Yeah, so I’m pretty sure Mel Gibson just cracked my back,” said the girl, starstruck. She went back to the party and followed him around like a puppy dog for the rest of the night. He would do funny things like sit in a chair with no adjoining seats to try to get rid of her, but she didn’t get the hint. She would sit on the coffee table.

At one point some girls dragged him onto the dance floor and he showed off some really crazy irish dancing. The girls would try to grind and club dance with him, but he wasn’t really having it.

Eventually I went back home and fell asleep to the arrhythmic clomping of high heels. What a strange life I have.

I enjoy reading but I it’s difficult to find really great books to read. Here are six non-fiction books that have had a big impact on my life. You should definitely buy them, read them, and have your life changed too. Don’t worry if they don’t address issues that you care about - simply reading them will make you care.

1. 
   
   Ok, I know I’ve harped on and on about this book, but it’s incredible. It explains the intracacies of human digestion and health in a way that is fascinating to someone who has no interest in the subject. I went from happily eating fast food and other such garbage to a 100% healthy diet overnight. A year and a half later, and I’m still eating healthy and feeling better than ever. If I had the money, I’d buy everyone a copy of this book.

   How it changed my life : I stopped eating sugar, flour, bad fats, and other things like that.

2. 
   

   I just read this one two days ago and now I’ve gone vegan. It represents the largest and most comprehensive study of human nutrition and disease ever, and the findings are incredible. If you read this you will want to be vegan. Don’t be scared off, thinking, “I love meat, I don’t want to change!”. The information is there and it makes you not WANT
   to eat meat.

   How it changed my life : Now I eat Vegan.

3. 
   
   
   I don’t think I’ve said much about this one before, but it’s also fantastic. It’s $10 and has some of the most sensible and practical advice I’ve ever read on money. I was going to recommend Rich Dad, Poor Dad (which is also great), but this is even better. What’s even more amazing is that by buying the book, you are entitled to go to a three day seminar on the topic. I went, very reluctantly, thinking it would be some sort of scam. It’s not - it’s an insanely professional seminar with tons of amazing advice and information. People were crying because their lives were changed.

   A lot of times financial advice is abstract and theoretical, but this is all stuff you can put into action.

   How it changed my life : I now have a savings account that I put money into religiously.

4. 
   
   Say what you will about Mystery, but he’s undeniably one of the best human beings on earth when it comes to getting women. His methodical and scientific mindset lends itself very well to being put on paper. I know him well, and I’d say that 85% of the knowledge he’s gained over his 12 years of study (if you can call it that) is in this book. The other 15% you will discover yourself after reading the book and putting it into practice.

   How it changed my life : Made me ridiculously good with the ladies, made me more confident, and made me a more interesting person.

5. 
   
   
   This is a really fun book to read, with lots of examples that illustrate the points well. It covers a lot, but I think that everyone will have at least one of those “Wow! I need to start doing that!” moments. I plan on reading it again to pick up more next time.

   How it changed my life : I almost never argue and understand other people’s perspectives better.

6. 
   
   
   This book is the most comprehensive yet easy to follow book on productivity and organization I’ve ever read. For about six months after I read it I was insanely organized. I’ve fallen off the wagon a bit since then, but some of the more major points have stuck and remain part of my life.

   How it changed my life : I actually effectively use my todo list / calendar, I have most of my files well organized, and I have a lot of my clutter in labeled plastic boxes.

If you’re reading this, buy those books at amazon, or even better go get at least one in real life and start reading today. I guarantee that all six will make your life measurably better for years to come. When you’re done, give the books to a friend. And if you actually read them all, put them into effect, and become rich, happy, organized, and charming - thank me then.

Post a comment with a book that’s totally changed your life, and let us know how.

Since Krunkaoke got shut down, I go to Rain every Wednesday. It’s a gay club that does Karaoke on Wednesday nights. They have a good selection of songs, a cool light up stage, and a laid back attitude towards me including “nigga” in all of my songs. The downside is that I get hit on / groped by gay guys, but I can deal with it.

I get home at 1am and I check on my fish. They’ve had tail rot on and off for the past few months. I’ve put hundreds of dollars of medicine in the tank trying to fix them, as well as adjusting their food and cleaning the tank and doing more frequent water changes. When I moved to my new place they got a lot better, but have since gotten worse.

I noticed that one of the black tetras was doing really badly this morning. His fins had all but distenegrated and he couldn’t swim properly. It was really sad - he was the only remaining fish from the first group that my friend gave me. It seems dumb to get attached to fish, but I really love them.

Now, twelve hours later, he’s doing worse. He’s been sucked up against the intake for the filter and doesn’t have the strength to pull away from it. I nudge him with the net, but he gets sucked right up against it again. He’s going to die.

With no chance of recovery, I put him in a plastic cup and walk over to the freezer. He can’t keep himself upright, so he’s lying on his side looking up at me with his little eye. I feel really bad… I’m about to kill him, and he has no idea. I’m sure all his fish brain knows is that I’m the guy who feeds him.

I put him in the freezer. It’s the humane way of killing fish - as if killing things is humane. I lie down on my bed, which Evan is sitting on. She tries to console me, but I just want to stare into space and be alone. She leaves, and as soon as she’s gone, I burst out crying.

I haven’t cried in two years, not since I broke up with Katya. It’s that same feeling, too, doing something you know is right but hurts the other person/fish (ok, I just smiled for the first time after writing that).

Then a friend who has cancer calls me with bad news. Suddenly the fish doesn’t seem like such a big deal.

I finally got around to changing to a new theme. There were a lot of complaints about the old one, and by that I mean that nearly every one of my friends complained about it and stopped reading as often.

Do you like this new one? What parts are better, which are worse? I still have a little bit of work to do, as you can probably tell, but the overall look won’t change. The cool cartoon of me was drawn by Kristen (thanks!).

I’ve been wanting to write this one for a while. It’s some practical advice on how to use a cell phone without causing me to want to kill you. Try it at home…

• Don’t Answer it - It is almost always wrong / rude / punishable by death to answer a cell phone in front of someone else. That’s what voicemail is for. The only exceptions are immediate family or someone who is trying to meet up with you. Significant others are not ok. You spend enough time yapping with them all day.
• For the love of christ, don’t make a call! Making a call is even worse. The only reason to make a call is if you’re with a friend and a third friend is meeting with you. That’s about it. When you make a call, it is actively demonstrating that you are not at all interested in the company of your current entourage.
• Fines are doubled in the car. You can’t even answer immediate family there. Worse than ignoring your company is making them listen to you gab about something no one cares about.
• A few text messages are ok. If you text in front of me, I don’t really care. It’s not obtrusive. If you’re having an IM style conversation, go jump off a cliff. It’s annoying. I’d say the max acceptible is 3 texts per hour.
• Do NOT ever wear a stupid bluetooth thing unless you’re talking to someone. Even then, you probably shouldn’t wear it. You look like a huge cyborg idiot. I have one, and I use it if I want to talk in bed, or if I’m wrestling a cougar and need my hands free. Emoting in the air while talking on a cell phone isn’t good enough reason to need those hands free.
• If you put someone on speakerphone, let them know if there are other people listening. There’s a curb your enthusiasm episode about this.
• Ringtones. If your phone sounds like fifty cent stuck in a soup can, change it. Put that crap on vibrate. I don’t see why anyone needs a ringtone. I don’t EVER need to know when you’re getting a call. Actually, girls with purses can have a ringtone. Don’t make it an obnoxious one.
• Last, and probably most important - LEAVE ONE MESSAGE. If you’re in my call log, that doesn’t mean you’re getting a call back. I assume that people who didn’t leave messages needed me then, and only then. A “Hey, I’m heading to lunch, want to come?” kind of call.

  If you leave a message, I will probably call you back. Leaving additional messages sharply decreases the chance of a callback. If I wake up and you’ve left 3 messages and two texts asking me to call, that’s probably grounds for a 24 hour no call period. I don’t want to spend 10 minutes going through your messages.

This stuff is important. Seriously.

My friend Todd and I were waiting in the office to go to a movie. It was 8:00 and the movie started at 8:45. He showed me some weird video of a guy dancing in a lot of different countries.

“Doesn’t this just make you want to travel?” He asked.

It did. Within a few minutes we resolved to go on a trip, and to buy the tickets before leaving for the movie.

We looked around online for somewhere to go. We consider Budapest, Hawaii, Brazil, and other places. Finally we found a deal for Tokyo and bought the tickets.

We get there the 25th and stay for a week. We have no hotel, nowhere to stay, and no plans.

If you live in Japan, e-mail me, especially if you want me to sleep on your floor / couch / master bedroom of your sweet Tokyo penthouse.