Why I Don’t Drink
Recently a comment was posted where someone asked why I don’t drink. I do seem to mention it in a number of posts, mostly those where I’m complaining how hard it is to find a girl who also doesn’t drink, but I suppose I’ve never explained why. I also don’t do drugs, smoke, or take medicine.
I’ve never had a drink in my life. I went to a private school in Andover, Massachusetts for middle school and I don’t think anyone there drank. Maybe they did and I was blissfully ignorant. I remember one kid got caught for smoking and it was a huge controversy.
After middle school my family moved to Austin, Texas and I went to a public high school. My first day there I got lost and happened to have wandered behind the building. to my surprise there was a huge mass of kids smoking cigarettes and pot. One such kid, a Junior, picked me up and put me in a trash can.
Nowadays I guess most people start drinking early, in middle school. I missed that phase and all of a sudden EVERYONE was drinking.
In high school none of my friends drank. I consider meeting those friends to be one of the best things that ever happened to me for a number of reasons.
At the end of my senior year in high school, not one of my good friends was a drinker. I had made friends with the biggest druggie in school, and other people who drank or did drugs, but none of them were part of my core group of close friends.
Then I met Julie. I wrote about her in the story of how I became a pick up artist. She and I went to a party that her friends (who all drank) were throwing. When I walked in I was happy to see my friend Sumaya. But she wasn’t acting like she usually did. She came up to me and started pawing at my stomach while talking. It was odd.
Then I looked around and realized that there were bottles of alcohol. She was drunk - for the first time, as it turns out. Aware that I was uncomfortable Julie pulled me into the bathroom with her while
she made a phone call - and that’s when I kissed her for the first time.
Over that summer and during the next year as freshmen in college, my friends began to drink and smoke pot. It made me furious. I was so proud to be the group of people who were too cool to drink. We were happy and had more fun than anyone, and we didn’t need alcohol.
To me, alcohol is a crutch. So is a great deal of modern medicine. Both cure symptoms rather than problems. People drink, and it’s usually for a reason : lonliness, depression, insecurity, stress, or the worst of all : boredom. I’ve rarely seen people drink for reasons other than those. Some people drink because it goes well with food, and that isn’t bothersome to me.
As my friends began to drink and I saw them, I saw them act like idiots. They were transformed from the people I knew and loved into boring idiots. They would laugh at things that weren’t funny, stumble around, and generally make fools of themselves. Some of them would say things that they’d surely regret. Often times they’d get too close to people’s faces and talk about things that person didn’t care about. I was that person sometimes.
When I saw the effect alcohol had on my friends, I was even less interested in trying it.
I did try it, though.
I don’t know if it’s out of insecurity, a desire to improve my life, or because of the challenge, but it’s very common for people to try to get me to drink.
Julie called me one night before she was going to come visit. Over the past couple weeks she had been pleading for me to try wine. Knowing I never would, I told her that I might. She asked if she could bring a bottle of wine over. I said no.
She did anyway. She also brought a corkscrew and two glasses in a bag. She had bought the bottle on the way, and I thought that was adorable. I agreed to try a sip. After all, she had earlier quit drinking for three months to get me to like her.
I was worried I would like the wine and become a drinker. Maybe I would become one of those bumbling idiots who can’t hold company with sober people.
She poured the Reisling into the glass and showed me how to swirl it. I felt like an aristocrat. I sniffed the wine as she did. She took a small sip and showed me how to “chew” it to extract the most flavor.
I took a sip and chewed it. All of my worries were immediately banished - this stuff was disgusting. I was shocked, actually. I really thought that I would like it and would have to then force myself not to drink.
But it tasted like rotten fruit and gasoline all mixed together. She was also surprised that I didn’t like it, and urged me to try another sip. I wouldn’t.
Another time I went to visit my friend Lindsay. She had a friend over who was sitting on the porch in front, drinking a red icy drink. I introduced myself and she offered me a sip.
“Oh, no thanks. I don’t drink.”
She laughed, “It’s not alcoholic.”
I knew it was. But then again, why would some girl I just met possibly try to trick me into drinking? It made no sense at all, so I took a sip. It wasn’t as offensive as the wine, but was certainly alcoholic.
Later I accidentally drank a sip of mimosa because I thought it was orange juice : gross.
A vodka or something clear on the rocks that I thought was water : gross.
Katya was drinking a red wine that she claimed was fantastic. She’d made a strong effort not to drink so I figured I’d indulge and try it. Gross.
I honestly don’t understand how people become drinkers. Alcohol is so incredibly foul that it baffles me that people bother to aquire the taste. I ate a bite of a 100 year old egg, a Chinese delicacy which consists of a egg which is buried in the ground until it rots and ferments and turns black and green.
It was better than any alcoholic beverage I’ve ever tried.
And then there’s the issue of control. I like being in control of my life. I make some sweet decisions.
Alcohol takes away control.
I don’t need or want the things it offers. I’m already secure, inhibition-free, happy, unstressed, and have enough great friends to prevent me from being lonely or bored. What could I possibly gain?
What if I did like it? Would I become one of those pathetic drunks that no one wants to talk to who annoys everyone? Maybe. Nearly every interaction I’ve ever had with someone who was drunk was awful.
Those that were bearable would have been far better if they weren’t drinking. Oh god - and the “man, we were so wasted…” stories. There is no good story that begins that way.
I’m constantly thinking about my future, and how actions I take now will affect me. Why give drinking a chance to develop into a habit that I might struggle with for years?
Think about this : is there anyone who you have ever respected MORE because they drank? Is there anyone who you’ve respected more because they DIDN’T drink?
And how about the health benefits? Sure a glass of wine a day is supposedly good for you. So is grape juice and a million other things. Also, the health benefits are miniscule compared to hundreds of other easier health tips that could be taken to heart.
I’m not trying to convert anyone here. If you drink and you’re happy about it, then that’s great for you. I recognize that there are benefits to drinking as well. For example, the best bite of your steak is the first bite because steak coats your toungue in a film that inhibits taste. Red wine dissolves that film.
If you drink, though, I hope this gives you some perspective into why I chose not to drink, and at least gets you to consider why you drink (feel free to answer that in the comments - I’d love to hear it).
Personally, I’ll never drink or do drugs. There’s just too much liability for too few benefits. I also like being one of the few who was strong enough to never give in and try it. Cheers!
(14 votes, average: 4.79 out of 5)
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May 16th, 2006 at 1:55 pm
All that and you didn’t even mention one of the worst facets of drinking…hangovers! They’re awful, just awful.
May 16th, 2006 at 2:10 pm
good post dude. i share the same view when it comes to smoking. why do people smoke? everyone knows the first puff is disgusting, so why keep doing it - strange.
i personally do drink, but not to the point where i will talk like a twat and act like a prat. i enjoy a beer after work or down the pub watching football (soccer). im 22 (so legally 4 years of drinking under my belt - from the uk) and only tried my first glass of red wine a few months ago and yeah, its gross. slowly getting into a nice white wine though. but things like vodka, scotch etc i dont touch.
But i suppose when i do tend to drink quite a bit (birthdays etc), i do act differently, not in a bad way. i begin to come care free to my actions, talking to other people, danceing etc.
May 16th, 2006 at 2:12 pm
Word up. I agree with your reasoning 95%. While I do enjoy the taste of some wines (beer mostly just tastes like piss in varying bitternesses), and don’t remember any period of taste acquisition, after a few instances of experimentation I’m against ‘drunkenness’ as a matter of principle. I’ve only been thoroughly intoxicated a few times in my life, and now my limit is the occasional glass with dinner. Props to you for your devotion to self-control. However, I don’t think there’s any pride to be had in being ’strong enough’ to abstain unconditionally. Curiosity is a valid reason to undergo new experiences, and it’s not a sign of weakness or a moral blemish against those who desire to understand firsthand such a widespread social activity.
May 16th, 2006 at 2:20 pm
I will admit that I’ve been one of those drunks that babbles about the dumbest things, but since I first started drinking I’ve now come to respect the drink more. I rarely get drunk any more I mostly drink for the taste. I also never drink those cheap beers or wines (which I think are quite disgusting). I prefer to find mixed drinks that have a great taste, like my most recent discovery. Kahlua, peppermint schnapps, and milk which creates the taste of mint chip ice cream. So since that is my favorite flavor of ice cream I really like that drink, but I limit myself very well.
I really do agree with you though, there are no good benefits to drinking that I can think of. I defiantly do in the end have an extra bit of respect for people that make the choice not to drink.
Also I just turned 22 a few weeks back and I think I manage my alcohol intake better than a lot of people older than me.
May 16th, 2006 at 3:15 pm
I was newer drunk in my life and I don intend to. I do drink but so little that a baby could do it, half a glass a month maybe. Why? Cos I am so much diferrent in so many ways from most people that not drinking is ussually the last inch from beeing a freak (to them) so sometimes I take a sip of something. I will newer do drugs, once i tried pot and the experience is like a living hell, worst thing that ever happend to me, there is no way on earth im doing it again.
Tyan but you gambled, you risk your life waaaayyy to much form my taste (in the same time there is a risk free way but you are impatient to try it, like paragliding leasons).
May 16th, 2006 at 3:17 pm
This post totally makes me judo-chop for joy! So good. This is why we are friends.OH, and because I love you. That’s kinda sorta part of it, too.
OH, also- EGG?! nastey. 100 YEAR OLD EGG?! nastier.
Actually I love eggs… haha, just not ‘chickensaurus of the cretaceous period’ eggs.
May 16th, 2006 at 4:44 pm
anything is good, as long as it within the limit.
ps : pink in comments section .. !! wonder if you really liked it ?
May 16th, 2006 at 7:01 pm
Alcohol never tastes good initially. Taste for it develops alongside appreciation (though on a sort of unconscious level) for the effects of the drug. Namely, alcohol makes you happy. It actually does a pretty poor job of this, among the other drugs. Insofar as — I imagine — the point of all of your friends, work, social life, etc. etc., is so that you can feel happy, it makes sense that some people do drugs/alcohol. It makes them happy just like pizza and friends do.
–someone who didn’t understand why anyone drank or did drugs a year ago
May 16th, 2006 at 11:32 pm
I like beer more than century egg. Respect for not drinking and having solid reasons for it. So when you go to clubs, you just have water?
May 17th, 2006 at 1:19 am
I too dont drink, but the one time I did have something alcholic it was more bizzare than repulsive. It was grapes in this black stuff. It tasted like black olives. I stopped eating it after I found out what it was, it made me worry that I wouldn’t be able to detect what was alcholic or not.
And I think the reason why people like is because their body develops a tollerance/addiction to it and thus before that it absolutely repulsive.
May 17th, 2006 at 1:44 am
Controversial!
There’s something very wrong about ‘acquired tastes’. Taste is your body’s way of testing if something is good for you. This is a sense evolved over hundreds of thousands of years. Your body’s entire nervous system is wired into your tongue to judge if ingesting something is going to raise or lower your chances of survival.
Alcohol, coffee, immediately spring to mind. Coffee is one that I never acquired. It took me a lot of work to like alcohol, but now I do. I wish I didn’t. I don’t like beer but a good wine is awesome.
When you acquire a taste it is because your body chemistry becomes changed slightly by the substance. If you go through a deep cleansing or detox you will lose the taste for certain things again.
Refined sugar is another example.
Also meat.
Did you ever wonder why you have to play all sorts of games with babies to get them to eat certain foods? “Here is the train going into the tunnel” etc. I used reverse psychology on my little brother by pretending to I was gonna eat his food and then waving it in front of his mouth so he stole it.
This is why when you go raw food for long enough meat starts to taste foul. It’s just we mash up meat, pack it with sugar, and force feed it to babies until their body chemistry adapts and developes a taste for basically poison.
May 18th, 2006 at 7:17 am
Great post!
As a non-PUA (though willing to learn) I am drinking a bit before/while going out. It usually works for me to be more relaxed/confident. btw: 100 year old eggs are not that bad
greetings from Kunming/China,
bobo
May 19th, 2006 at 12:16 am
“I also like being one of the few who was strong enough to never give in and try it.”
This was fine until you threw that in at the end. Recieving a false sense of superiority is one of the worst reasons to ever do/not do something. You claim to not be out to convert anyone, yet backhanded insults implying those who drink are weak somehow make me think otherweise.
I drink in moderation simply because it can sometimes mix up everyday situations, some of it tastes good to me, and I enjoy the feeling of a light buzz. I fail to see how that makes me weaker than people who abstain. In no way am I defending people who regularly abuse alcohol, but there are many shades of gray that do not seem to be represented in the other comments.
Despite the negative comments, you do a great job with the blog overall. I really enjoy reading it.
May 25th, 2006 at 1:35 am
A perhaps futile atttempt at conversion…
Just because you don’t like beer or wine isn’t a reason to forsake other alcohols. There are a wide range of beverages out there, waiting for you to find the taste and love it.
There are two kinds of drinking - drinking to get drunk, and drinking for pleasure. Don’t throw out one with the other.
May 25th, 2006 at 8:28 am
I’m glad to know that I’m not the only one who thinks alcohol tastes horrible. I really dig Magnus’ post. I had always sort of thought “Why should I have to aquire a taste for something?” and now I understand. On that note I also hate coffee.
June 20th, 2006 at 4:29 pm
Speaking of acquired tastes, try RedBull some time. The stuff literally tasted like a bad perfume to me the first time I tasted it. Now, I actually like the taste…I also like the ability to party ’til 9am the next morning and not slow down… Probably really bad for me…
Magnus, meat rocks!! I’m a caveman. Ever hear of the caveman diet? Essentially, if it wasn’t around when cavemen were the prime example of human ingenuity then don’t eat it. That means plenty of meat, grains, fruits, and veggies. No processed foods of any kind. No alcohol, etc. I’m not a caveman extremist but I try to stick pretty close to that diet.
I’ve been skinny my whole life and when I switched over to this diet I actually started gaining weight. It helps that I’m working out as well. But I’ve tried that before too and it did nothing for me. So, after being 155 lbs most of my life, I’m 200 lbs and chicks are actually asking me “do you work out?” …very surreal for a skinny kid psyche.
Spin
October 26th, 2006 at 6:07 pm
I find your story interesting because I had a similar experience growing up. While there have always been drugs in the schools I went to (and my friends were often the ones who used them) I never really got into them. I’d tried pot and alcohol, and I wasn’t really impressed. Pot didn’t do anything for me and alcohol didn’t really taste very good. I’m a stickler about drinking stuff that tastes good, so I put it out of my mind.
However, over the first few years of college my friends did fewer drugs and drank more. Not all of them drink, but enough do that it’s part of our little group. I thought of it like you do - that they were betraying this psudo-clean living vibe we had going. We used to be too good for this crap. However, I figured I couldn’t judge them without getting drunk and seeing how it was.
So, at our new years party, I found a drink that I didn’t hate (lemonade of some alcholoc sort) and drank that. I guss I got drunk, though I don’t have much of a scale to measure it on. I ran around, did some minorly stupid stuff, laughed at dumb jokes, etc. I had a really good time. For a while, I was humbled. I had seen drinking as a stupid, even reprehensable, thing to do, but I enjoyed it as much as anyone else.
Now I’m not so sure about the evils of alcohol. It’s true that I lost control of myself, and all the drawbacks of alcohol you list are also true. I can’t help thinking that it was fun and that I might enjoy it in spite of all the drawbacks.
November 1st, 2006 at 3:50 pm
Amen! You have mirrored my thoughts EXACTLY on alcohol. I’ve actually lost friends over their obnoxious, atrocious social behavior resulting from imbibing too much of that poison. I’m talking… “wanting to start fights with complete strangers because I can just blame it on being drunk” kind of behavior. At the same time, we had to babysit this dude the entire night.
And that is supposed to be fun?
You’re 100% right about the “man, we were so wasted” stories. What could be duller? This is why I never joined a frat in college. There couldn’t be something more useless, nullifying and numbing than hanging around a bunch of guys in plaid shirts and baseball caps who like to throw up all over each other - who call their group… a frat, almost as an afterthought. One of my friends tried to get me to join one of those. No, thanks, I’d rather rape myself with a hammer.
Your post made me realize why I don’t drink. The TASTE. It DOES taste like gasoline and rotten fruit! Couldn’t quite put my finger (or tongue) on it…
Anyway, yes. Alcohol is just an excuse to celebrate mediocrity when it’s abused. What a nice life it is to be clean, sober, and yourself without it.
November 10th, 2006 at 8:33 am
[...] This article sums up my feelings on the subject. [...]
December 12th, 2006 at 1:17 pm
Tynan, you seem like an interesting guy. Its been a slow day at work, so I amused myself by reading several of your blogs, having come across a link to the Indoor Pool story on a private BBS — one of those inner sanctum types that you note in Infiltrating Communities. You remind me of a friend of mine from college. He bought a Rolls Royce at an auction once, just because he found himself at an auction where there was a Rolls Royce to buy. He doesn’t have that kind of money, but it made for a great story.
But enough about me, or rather what I think about you. :-).
The drinking thing is an interesting question and its the first of your articles where I’ve seen a genuine request for feedback. That seems unusual for you, as if you aren’t comfortable with your opinion on the matter. Its also the first one that seems a bit judgmental, rather than simply offering perspective and encouragement, without condemnation. Damn, there’s some more of what I think about you.
I don’t mean to sound judgmental at all. I do wonder about why this subject is different for you.
Back to drinking. I like drinking. I started in high school, like almost everybody. Drank like high school kids do. Most people grow out of it, drinking like that which at the time serves two purposes — to alleviate social nervousness and to appear to be older (and thus more attractive) than you are. You attacked social nervousness by investigating it directly, getting input from experts in the field. Most folks just buy a six-pack and be done with it. Your approach is probably more successful in the long-term, but an expensive in both time and money proposition. BTW, girls drink for the same reason as boys do, even the really hot ones. It just seems stupider because from a guy’s perspective, girls don’t have a good reason to be nervous or to need to appear as anything other than hot. It isn’t quite that easy for girls, I’m sorry to say.
I still drink, but I only drink what I like. I don’t remember the last time I was nervous in a social situation, nor the last time I was particularly bored in my social life. Life is too short to spend it doing things that are annoying or boring. I’m pretty self-indulgent and drinking is one of those indulgences. I also don’t remember the last time that I was particularly drunk. I drink because I like it, not because I need it. Probably for the same reasons that you pick up girls or put swimming pools in your living room. It can be fun and enjoyable, like sex. You know the old saying… wine, women and song… and if you have to give one up, song.
December 12th, 2006 at 6:09 pm
You cannot beat getting out of your head once in a while, on drink or whatever. Anything else smacks to me of a fascist lifestyle.
December 16th, 2006 at 9:39 pm
I don’t drink for the same reasons as you. Tastes like crap and I don’t like the effects (dizzy, throw up, hangover).
December 21st, 2006 at 2:27 am
Dude rock on! I absolutely, completely agree with you 100%. As I read your post, I felt that it was me who wrote this things because that is exactly how a felt. My story is different. I came from another country. I grew up in a great pain free, happy environment. Somehow all my friends before are just “good friends”. Similar to you, we never drank and we had fun even w/o alcohol. I migrated here in the US when I was 17. OH God I was shocked! But even though I know it will be harder for me to find friends if I don’t enjoy drinking or any self-destructive behavior. I chose not too. I just believe that drinking is for superficial people. Like you, I was so disappointed when I found out that my high school friends starting drinking. I thought that they are different. I guess not. Anyways, just wanted to tell you that I’m completely happy and contented with my decision. Believe or not I feel happier inside because I choose “NOT TO” drink. By the way, I tried them too and they totally taste like crap.
January 18th, 2007 at 4:32 pm
I agree that getting drunk is lame, but as a brewer I can say I have a great appreciation for beer. I bet I could brew a beer even you’d like.
January 24th, 2007 at 5:57 pm
i haven’t had a drink for nearly a year, but some “friend” of mine who knows i don’t drink got a round of drinks, and i asked for a coke, but he apparently decided that i’d prefer a rum and coke. i took one sip and gave it to somebody else. i’m really pissed off at the moment. i don’t understand why non-drinkers are never respected. i really do think it’s out of some sense of insecurity on the part of the drinker.
January 25th, 2007 at 3:59 pm
It’s a very strange thing… I’ve experienced that as well. I think your assessment is probably correct, though.
Tynan
January 25th, 2007 at 7:26 pm
Great story. I go to college, and my freshmen year was miserable. EVERYBODY drank, and I didnt. Soph year was better because I met my g/f who didnt drink either. It was a pretty good year. Now, this year, she all of a sudden wants to go out and drink with her friends. It really makes me mad. Ive talked to her about it, and I dont want her to, because alcohol makes you a different person, not the same person I love. Its tough, just I’m just pleased I found a great story about somebody with the same problems I’m facing. Thanks man.
January 26th, 2007 at 1:33 am
Actually, I’ve been in the exact situation. I broke up with Katya for roughly that reason (if you’ve read The Game, then you know who I’m talking about). Glad you liked the story!
Tynan
January 27th, 2007 at 9:51 pm
Well, that’s a very interesting take on alcohol. Let us not forget that Jesus’ first miracle was the transformation of water to wine. Even he enjoyed a good wine from time to time. As for the not so intelligent out come of over drinking, I guess people like to let down their guard. Not that I’m saying I haven’t been annoyed from time to time from a drunk friend, but I know that’s that point of it. Letting go and having a good time with friends. There is a time and a place of everything, even a good drink. There are many negative qualities to alcohol as well as positives, but extreme views either way are…well let’s just say, not so smart.
January 28th, 2007 at 4:35 am
Oh boy… here we go. First, Jesus’ supposed miracles hold no weight for me. Some day I’ll write an article on religion, but I don’t feel like getting into that at the moment.
If you can’t let go with friends without a drink, then you need to undergo some serious self-examination. That’s exactly what I’m talking about when I say that people drink for bad reasons.
And why aren’t extreme viewpoints good? I think they’re fantastic. They show passion and confidence. Taking the middle of the road is the easy route. What about heroin? Are there good times for that? I’m not trying to convince people not to drink… people can do whatever they want. I personally think that drinking is stupid and has no place in MY life.
Tynan
February 6th, 2007 at 8:50 pm
Instead of medicine what suggestions do you have for pain, infection etc..? Some things don’t heal WITHOUT medication or doctor intervention.
February 6th, 2007 at 9:01 pm
Sometimes you absolutely need medicine. I think it’s really cool technology and amazing that we can do it, but I think it’s also extremely primitive right now. I see it as the ultimate last resort.
For pain I deal with it. I’m not a super manly guy or anything - in fact I got my ass kicked by a girl last night. If I feel sick I stay in bed and drink fresh squeezed juice or water.
Tynan
February 6th, 2007 at 11:07 pm
I’m from Wisconsin and it’s practically our culture to drink alcohol. There are not to many people I know that don’t drink and it even seems odd hearing about people who don’t, unless they have had a problem with it in the past. In my city of Lacrosse we has the largest six pack, more bars on one street than any in the USA, and the largest Octoberfest in the US. So yeah in a way it kinda sucks trying to sarge in the bars here because everyone is wasted all the time. I’m now trying to go downtown sober all night and it seems like a challenge because your competing with guys who are drinking with all there worries, ego, and everything blown away. But you really get to know yourself and others a lot more when you don’t because like you said alcohol is a crutch and will never help you succeed in anything because it’s such an artificial state of mind.
February 23rd, 2007 at 3:05 pm
Thank God there is a man out there like you. I was begining to give up hope. I despise alcohol and agree with you; however, I’ve drank and been drunk….nothing good ever comes from it. I decided to give it up for good this year as well as giving up dating men who use alcohol as a crutch. This post gives me hope.
February 25th, 2007 at 12:47 am
First off, I have to say that i love reading your posts as i notice that we are similar to m in some ways. I drink but its so rare that i could probly say that i dont drink… i cant stand the taste of alcohol and can taste it in any drink… I have had far too many times when ppl say that you cant even taste it and i have a sip and its like choking down rubbing alcohol. nasty! I know that i have had possitive benefits from the times that i have drinken. It helped me get over my self conscieness with dancing, but honestly i think i could have done that just as easily without getting tipsy. The fact that i dont like the taste and all of my friends like to sit around and drink casually leads to situations where they think it strange that i refuse to drink 99% of the time. its strange that we have exactly the same opinion when it comes to medicine from what you have writen on the subject. Keep up the greats post and amazing stories!!
Tynan
February 25th, 2007 at 9:15 pm
I really can’t express how awesome it is to me that there’s a mini gathering of Tynan’s here.
Tynan
March 7th, 2007 at 3:43 pm
an example of how people make alcohol and/or pot their priorities,try meeting and making friends with those that do those things.it’s not difficult unless you don’t do those things. i guarantee you,if you live in an apartment complex and meet others there(college age),you won’t be accepted as part of their group if you don’t drink or smoke pot.like in the 70’s,you;ll be considered not cool or lame or’straight’ or some other ridiculous adjective and you’ll be ostercised from the group when it comes down to being accepted as part of it. this,meaning that making friends is based primarily on whether that person drinks or does drugs.believe me,i’ve been around enough to know this for fact.i can’t count the times i’ve met people and not been accepted as part of the clan because im straight,or don’t drink.abstaining from both alcohol and drugs,to most people,means you don’t party.it just means you don’t get wasted.but generally that’s a reason to be ostercised by most college aged people(between 18-late 20’s give or take). i have no use for either alcohol or recreational drugs mostly for those reasons.people get too obsessed(maybe posessed by them)
April 5th, 2007 at 7:53 pm
Brilliant… simply brilliant. I agree with you all the way. Alcohol has never touched my lips,(except a drop at church), I have never smoked, or done any drugs, and I try not to take pills unless completely necessary.
It’s good that you aren’t trying to convert anyone, just stating the facts. I have tried to convert people, and often they get really defensive and don’t hear you out.
I know how you feel about trying to find a girl that doesn’t drink. I’m having the same problem, and it is extremely hard. I’m having the same problem with friends in general. Like another guy said in the comments, if people know you don’t drink or smoke, they won’t invite you to do stuff. It sucks.
Thanks for the article, it was encouraging.
And for all you people having a hard time like me, keep ya head up… Things will get better.
April 18th, 2007 at 9:40 am
just randomly put no thanks i dont drink into google and this page came up it looked interesting.im 19 and i have a few drinks myself probably about 10% of times i go out with friends but i could definately live without it. whats the big deal?? Fair play on posting this i think alcohol consumtion is getting as free and easy as drinking water. im 19 and in my college drinking is pretty much the centre of everything and people treat it as if theyve been starved of it!its really wierd that people actually think its strange if u dont want a drink but i guess it just shows their insecurities! anyway glad i clicked on this page and found several others that share the same opinion as me!
April 22nd, 2007 at 7:14 am
I LOVE DRINKING, you don’t know what your talking about, you haven’t experienced therefore you don’t know. Your just a loser thats scared to drink. Your only cool if you drink alcohol, my liver is already wrecked from drinking and I’m proud of it.
April 22nd, 2007 at 7:20 am
shit story. i don’t think you are strong to not drink. stop blowing your own trumpet. so you dont drink or dont do drugs. what do you want a freaking nobel prize. give me a break
April 22nd, 2007 at 7:37 pm
That’s great! I’ll be 21 in a few days, and everyone keeps making a big deal about it, and asking me what I’ll have. My answer-ice cream, no bailey’s or whiskey or whatever people ruin it with in the name of sophistication nowadays. I’ve tried sips of good-quality wine, long island iced tea, straight vodka (worst by far. No wonder people use it as an emergency disinfectant), and beer, all under parental supervision. All of tasted, well, like alcohol, maybe with a bit of fruit in the background. None of it was appealing. I have no desire to get drunk and hungover so I’ll “know my limit”. That’s bull. Besides, after a bad reaction to anesthesia, I have a pretty good idea what it’s like. No way would I want to repeat the projectile vomiting. Kudos to you for sticking to your guns while recognizing that alcohol is not in and of itself bad. Rather, it’s the people who drink it for the wrong reasons that irritate voluntary teetotalers.
April 22nd, 2007 at 10:25 pm
Hey,
I just want to say I’m comforted to know that there are people out there who feel exactly the same way that I do about the abusive consumption of alcohol and drugs. I’ve recently been having problems with my friends who used to refrain from drinking and now have started to do it every weekend. My girlfriend has recently become interested in both drinking socially and smoking pot, and I had no idea that it would bother me as much as it does, but that first night when she came back to the room drunk and having been puking for a few hours I was so mad I almost went insane. I’m in a tight spot because I care about these people but I really don’t like who they’re becoming and I don’t like feeling like I’m being left behind just because I don’t want to get drunk every weekend and act like an idiot. Thank you for this post. You’ve inspired me even more to stick to my guns on this one because I’m not the only one who feels this way.
April 23rd, 2007 at 2:42 am
WHOOPDY FREAKIN’ DO!!!
who gives a shit? half the people out there dont drink. what makes u so freakin special?
April 25th, 2007 at 4:59 am
man, we were so wasted last night. i racked up halfa at about 11 and then it just got more intense from there. the music was insane. the pills made it so much better and no come down either. what a great night. one of the best dj sets ive heard ever. i definately shouldnt have driven. i dont know what i was thinking. but hey you only live once so go hard or go home is my philosophy, i dont know what everyone who wasnt drinking or wasnt on drugs was doing all i know is that i was googed to the eyeballs.
May 10th, 2007 at 8:35 pm
loser
May 10th, 2007 at 8:37 pm
last comment to the author. the person above me checks out.
May 14th, 2007 at 12:37 am
I think its sad how our whole culture is centered around drinking. I mean, how often do you hang out with your friends on a friday night without having to pick up some beer or a bottle of wine?? I think we have lost the skill to have fun socially without alcohol.
January 1st, 2008 at 2:41 pm
I really know how you feel regarding finding someone else who doesn’t drink. I’m 21 and I’ve never had a sip of alcohol.
I don’t know what it tastes like. I’ve never been to a party. I chose not to drink for many of the reasons you did; mostly because of control. I don’t like the idea that I wouldn’t be able to have control over myself and I certainly don’t like the idea of being in a place where no one else has control of themselves.
Another reason I never had alcohol was because of what it did to everyone I know. I live in Wisconsin where the number one thing to do for entertainment is honestly drinking. I spent a lot of time through High School and college by myself but I was determined to find someone who wasn’t so saturated with drinking and partying. Guys would ask me out and I simply asked them if they liked to drink. People often thought I had a superiority complex but I just didn’t want to deal with a drinker and I also didn’t want someone in my life who would possibly push me to drink or do stupid things while under the influence of alcohol.
I also like my body; health and sports are just a huge part of my life. As an athlete I choose not to drink to keep my competitive edge. I won’t even drink soda so I am pretty strict.
Hang in there, though. I met the hottest guy in the world and a winter sports fanatic (we’re teaching each other a lot). You will find someone even if it takes a while. I’m glad about waiting to find him as opposed to just giving in. I remember guys actually telling me they wouldn’t date me only because I didn’t drink. It was sad for a while but I hung tough. It helps that I was never the kind of girl that was DESPERATE for a guy. I like myself and don’t need a guy to make me better.
January 8th, 2008 at 8:55 pm
So you’ve never been drunk before? I’m a little surprised that you can hate on booze that conclusively, when you’ve never even gotten tipsy. How do you know you so certainly that you don’t want to drink - can you tell if you like steak by watching someone else eat steak?
You’re a pretty open-minded guy… it just seems really bizarre to me that you’re so dead-set against something you’ve never even tried. Humans have been drinking for millennia… I’m not saying “why not try it because everyone else is doing it,” but if so many people from so many different cultures and time periods can all together appreciate one thing, such as a good drink, do you really think it’s fair just to write that thing off as a CRUTCH, when you haven’t even fully experienced it?
Aren’t you the same guy who wanted to pick up smoking, get addicted to cigarettes and then quit, just so you could prove you could do it? And the same guy who was excited about the prospect of going to jail? You want to experience all these different, possibly very lame and very unfun things, but you don’t want to get a little buzz? What are you afraid of, you think getting wasted once will turn you into a lame popped-collar fratboy telling “we were so wasted” stories?
Tynan, you are really smart and open-minded in a lot of ways. But in some situations, you’re stuck in medieval ways of thought, denouncing things you don’t understand as stupid, pointless, or… and this is the most ignorant I think… a crutch.
I’m not saying that you have to drink, or that you have to like drinking. But I am saying that you are full of preconceived notions about the booze, and you are wholly unqualified to pass judgment on it or on those who partake.
And there are delicious alcoholic drinks out there. They’re all really, really girly, but you seem pretty secure in your masculinity anyway… go get like a strawberry margarita somewhere, you can even have them made with fresh fruit if you go to the right place.
February 12th, 2008 at 1:55 am
Hey, I just found your website today because I was doing a search for professional gambling, and I just wanted to let you know that I think it’s awesome that you’ve decided not to do drugs/smoke/drink. I don’t do any of these things either, but my main reason is that I have lived with abusive alcoholics and drug addicts, both male and female, my entire life, and have also had a heart attack in my family that was completely due to smoking, not to mention the smoker’s pets having awful lung problems… and additionally I can’t stand the way that people act when they’re drunk/high, they’re just a bunch of idiots, like you’ve said. Like you said in another article, who wants to be around a bunch of fakes? They aren’t being authentic if they have to get drunk to have fun, right? Oh, and of course all of that stuff smells/looks/tastes terrible! As another poster said, sure, some fruity-alcoholic drinks look pretty tasty and might taste OK since they are drowned in sugar (I haven’t tried, am under the drinking age anyway, but don’t intend to do it anyway), but who needs the calories/hangover/general idiotic drunkenness? I’m actually pretty amazed that you don’t drink/etc, since I had an.. interesting.. impression of you from the pick-up artist articles, but I’m glad to know that there are still people out there who can make wise decisions when it comes to these things. Oh, and don’t let the other posters who drink sway you!!!
March 24th, 2008 at 5:26 am
I like how most of you anti drinking peeps keep saying everybody that drinks acts stupid. That’s a bullshit stereotype. I drink maybe every other week end, wether I go out or just hang with friends, I’ll get drunk. Ask me if I run around trying to pick fights with everyone, or act like an asshole. Nope.
If you act stupid when you drink, then you’re just stupid to begin with. Also, judging people who drink by lookin at high school kids drink is ridiculous. Obivously kids in shcool will act dumb while drunk, it’s what they do.. They’re kids, and they’re drunk.
I’ve never had anything but a good time when I drink with friends, and I don’t NEED to drink, but I do.. like you said, cause I can. I’m not saying you’re wrong for not drinking, but saying ” oh, well I saw these people act stupid, therefore everyone who drinks acts stupid” is pretty much ignorance above all else.
basically, you have no other argument to be against drinking than the fact that you think it’s gross. A thought doesn’t change a fact : YOU think drinking is bad, but really drinking is only bad if the people who drink are stupid/iresponsible or too young. Some people might change when they drink, but that’s cause they drink too much. Rule #1 of drinking : Know your limit. If you can’t abid by that simple rule, then don’t drink.
March 31st, 2008 at 11:04 pm
It so amaizing to know that there are actually guys out there that dont drink!!!
April 1st, 2008 at 3:15 pm
I find this, like most everything else on this site, to be self-indulgent crap. We get it. You think you are better than everyone else, mostly for having a shitty hat. Congrats.
April 25th, 2008 at 6:43 am
I don’t drink either. I’m an alcoholic, now sober with the help of Alcoholics Anonymous, a good discipline and a healthy way of living.
I’ve been the ugliest embodiement of what alcohol do to human mind and body, and even being drunk on some occasion (without being a pathologic drinker) is being stupid, looking ridiculous and aving impair judgement.
I might be not really objective, but I totally approve the total abstinence of alcohol and other drugs.
April 27th, 2008 at 1:48 am
I enjoyed this post. I personally enjoy a coldie while relaxing in the sun or a couple beers at a party or bar. BUT I’ve had times when I’ve abused it and things went to shit. THat sucks!
“ITS THE ABUSERS THAT RUIN IT FOR THE USERS!”
It also sucks when your with a hot chick that pukes when your with her and you were vibing earlier. My theory is don’t chug or force it down your belly. Going to college next year things will get crazy in that department for sure but control is key. Your decisions affect your reality.
GOOOD STUFF!
May 12th, 2008 at 12:32 pm
Great post Tynan! I am 39 and have only drank a handful of times in my life but have never been drunk. Personally I hate the taste of alcohol of any kind, and only drank the few times to try and fit in because I was insecure. Now I have chose to never drink at all because I realize I can fit in without being a drinker. I don’t have a problem with people who drink socially and responsibly, but I hate drunks and rowdies who abuse alcohol and damage property. I went to the park yesterday and vandals had broken all the public fire pits and smashed beer bottles all over the sites with beer cans and litter everywhere. I hate those kinds of people and I just want to smash them it makes me so angry. I personally think alcohol is a terrible substance because anyone who takes that first drink can potentially go down the wrong path if it gets out of hand. I respect those who can enjoy a drink without having to get drunk, but those (most teens) who drink to excess make it look disgusting and ruin it for everyone. I too am looking for a women who does not drink and that seems to be very difficult these days. I want someone who can have fun without having to rely on an altered state of mind. Good for you and everyone else who can resist the pressures to drink, I comend you. I am tired of drinkers trying to always get me to drink also, so I rarely go out with groups anymore because I have still not found a good bunch of friends who don’t drink.
May 16th, 2008 at 7:55 am
I’m Russian and all my family and friends drinks so in my case, I think it’s on the gene level! All you write is true. Alcohol is a stupid thing and I know for sure that I drink only when bored or depressed! This is just weakness… when I feel bad I go out with my drinking friends and drink vodka like you don’t believe… From now I quite to drink and take my life more seriously.
June 16th, 2008 at 5:28 pm
Wow, I am not alone. I dont drink, smoke, or do drugs. Not only are the bad for you for all the reasons that you mention, but on a more vain level, they all make you look/smell like *ish. They all cause premature aging!!! I need some more friends that dont drink, where do you find them? lol And as hard as it is to find a girl that dosent drink, finding a guy that dosent is 10X harder.
July 3rd, 2008 at 6:10 am
To quote M.Wehr’s post above me..
… “I’ve recently been having problems with my friends who used to refrain from drinking and now have started to do it every weekend. My girlfriend has recently become interested in both drinking socially and smoking pot, and I had no idea that it would bother me as much as it does, but that first night when she came back to the room drunk and having been puking for a few hours I was so mad I almost went insane. I’m in a tight spot because I care about these people but I really don’t like who they’re becoming and I don’t like feeling like I’m being left behind just because I don’t want to get drunk every weekend and act like an idiot. Thank you for this post. You’ve inspired me even more to stick to my guns on this one because I’m not the only one who feels this way.” …
That is my life, EXACTLY, down to the smallest little detail.
I’ve just recently turned 20 and still to this day have not had one sip of alcohol in my entire life. I don’t flaunt it around as a positive thing to everyone I see, but do have to deal with the consequences of choosing to live as I do. And, as explained in Wehr’s post, it can be a very, VERY stressful and difficult thing to go through sometimes. I’ve actually grown to a point where I live in fear of alcohol, and have cut myself off from all those who I used to care about, and keep myself out of situations where I’m around it, can smell it, see people doing it, etc. It really limits you sometimes.
And it’d be real simple to just say… “If it limits you, why not give in?” That would be really nice if it worked that way. However, I’m never more miserable than when I have to put myself in a situation like that. No matter if I drink or not, I will NEVER be happy around it. And that’s just me.
I can deal with my friends drinking as long as I don’t have to see them do it. Maybe because I really deep down don’t care about the decisions they make. Maybe because I really don’t care about them as much as I think.
But my girlfriend who I loved more than anything for almost 3 years? To tell me she ‘doesn’t drink’ and would ‘never drink’ for years, then one night become a stereotypical college girl who gets wasted every Tues, Thurs, Fri, and now uses a fake ID to get into bars, clubs, buy alcohol, etc for the past six months….. I can’t deal with it. I can’t. And it’s been rough. The past year or so has been very hard… And it just. Sucks.
I haven’t read more than a few articles here, but I felt it necessary to thank you Tynan, and others, for giving me much needed hope for the future to come.
July 21st, 2008 at 3:51 pm
This post has pushed me further into reassessing my own drinking habits, Tynan - THANKS!
What M.Wehr and Mike said about being stuck as the nondrinker is very true.
When I was Mike’s age I was too concerned with losing control like I saw so many friends doing. It got to the point where I would feel nauseated if I spent time with my friends when they were drinking. So, I would bail early in the evenings on that group of friends and go dancing or out for live music instead. I got comfortable going places by myself and making new friends when I got there.
Over the years I saw a fair number of my abstaining friends seem to jump on the booze and drugs bandwagon. Sometimes it really hurt, like in doing this they were rejecting me personally.
In my 30’s I decided I knew myself well enough to experiment. Alcohol is an acquired taste, as is tobacco or any other drug. Experience has taught me how to enjoy myself and others with or without the so-called social lubricants. Now that I live in another country - the Czech Republic - where the cultural attitude toward drinking is radically different from what I saw growing up, I’ve tended to enjoy beer almost daily.
And I think I’ll give the beer drinking a bit of a rest now, as a nice experiment.
Mike, stick to your guns so long as it serves you best.
July 22nd, 2008 at 5:08 pm
Haha wow, I just randomly came across this page and it’s pretty funny. Not the fact that you don’t drink but because your opinion on drinking and doing drugs is litteraly the exact same as mine. Every line you wrote I could have seen.
I enjoy being in control of my life…I don’t want to drink and stumble around like a retard. I look constantly look forward in my future and want to be successful. I would like to say im straight edge, but who knows what will happen. But I’m very confident that i will stay clean. And yes! it is hard to find a girl who doesn’t drink.
July 22nd, 2008 at 5:11 pm
said* not seen…4th line