OK, it’s confession time. I am a HUGE narcissist. I mean, obviously I think I’m the greatest, better than your boyfriend, etc. But at least that is all true beyond any doubt.

What I’m talking about today is different. I am my biggest fan. If I make a new song, I will listen to it for at least 24 hours on repeat. Often times I listen on my computer, then play it in the bathroom while I take a shower. When I’m in front of the mirror I lip sync and dance to my own music, imagining that I am performing it. Then after my shower I listen to it in the car while I drive.

Is this normal? Or at least healthy?

Usually I only listen to one of my songs on repeat. However, this trip I have been listening to Kristen, Mystery, and Better than your Boyfriend on shuffle. It’s almost like a drug. When the stewardesses make us put away our MP3 players, I get antsy because I want to hear myself sing “There’s a little bit of thug in everyone…”.

How weird is this? I KNOW I’m not as good as my other favorite rappers. It’s blatantly obvious. However, for some reason I still prefer listening to myself. Maybe it’s some sort of comfort thing because my voice is familiar. A lot of times I make new songs because I’ve listened to my old ones 1000 times and want variety.

And this isn’t even limited to music. I can’t tell you how many tmes I watched our Amazing Race application video on repeat. It clearly wasn’t even very good because we didn’t make it on the show. My survivor video was just me talking to a camera. I watched that well over 100 times.

I even read my own blog. If I’m bored, I go read stories I’ve written. Your guess is as good as mine as to how many times I’ve listened to my Tycast. It’s just me talking! Still, I couldn’t help but press play over and over again.

The only exception I can think of is pictures. I never like looking at pictures of myself for some reason. I think I look pretty good in real life and in video, but awful in pictures.

This has been on my mind for a while and seems pretty weird to me. Is anyone else like this with their music / videos / writing?

Recently a comment was posted where someone asked why I don’t drink. I do seem to mention it in a number of posts, mostly those where I’m complaining how hard it is to find a girl who also doesn’t drink, but I suppose I’ve never explained why. I also don’t do drugs, smoke, or take medicine.

I’ve never had a drink in my life. I went to a private school in Andover, Massachusetts for middle school and I don’t think anyone there drank. Maybe they did and I was blissfully ignorant. I remember one kid got caught for smoking and it was a huge controversy.

After middle school my family moved to Austin, Texas and I went to a public high school. My first day there I got lost and happened to have wandered behind the building. to my surprise there was a huge mass of kids smoking cigarettes and pot. One such kid, a Junior, picked me up and put me in a trash can.

Nowadays I guess most people start drinking early, in middle school. I missed that phase and all of a sudden EVERYONE was drinking.

In high school none of my friends drank. I consider meeting those friends to be one of the best things that ever happened to me for a number of reasons.

At the end of my senior year in high school, not one of my good friends was a drinker. I had made friends with the biggest druggie in school, and other people who drank or did drugs, but none of them were part of my core group of close friends.

Then I met Julie. I wrote about her in the story of how I became a pick up artist. She and I went to a party that her friends (who all drank) were throwing. When I walked in I was happy to see my friend Sumaya. But she wasn’t acting like she usually did. She came up to me and started pawing at my stomach while talking. It was odd.

Then I looked around and realized that there were bottles of alcohol. She was drunk - for the first time, as it turns out. Aware that I was uncomfortable Julie pulled me into the bathroom with her while
she made a phone call - and that’s when I kissed her for the first time.

Over that summer and during the next year as freshmen in college, my friends began to drink and smoke pot. It made me furious. I was so proud to be the group of people who were too cool to drink. We were happy and had more fun than anyone, and we didn’t need alcohol.

To me, alcohol is a crutch. So is a great deal of modern medicine. Both cure symptoms rather than problems. People drink, and it’s usually for a reason : lonliness, depression, insecurity, stress, or the worst of all : boredom. I’ve rarely seen people drink for reasons other than those. Some people drink because it goes well with food, and that isn’t bothersome to me.

As my friends began to drink and I saw them, I saw them act like idiots. They were transformed from the people I knew and loved into boring idiots. They would laugh at things that weren’t funny, stumble around, and generally make fools of themselves. Some of them would say things that they’d surely regret. Often times they’d get too close to people’s faces and talk about things that person didn’t care about. I was that person sometimes.

When I saw the effect alcohol had on my friends, I was even less interested in trying it.

I did try it, though.

I don’t know if it’s out of insecurity, a desire to improve my life, or because of the challenge, but it’s very common for people to try to get me to drink.

Julie called me one night before she was going to come visit. Over the past couple weeks she had been pleading for me to try wine. Knowing I never would, I told her that I might. She asked if she could bring a bottle of wine over. I said no.

She did anyway. She also brought a corkscrew and two glasses in a bag. She had bought the bottle on the way, and I thought that was adorable. I agreed to try a sip. After all, she had earlier quit drinking for three months to get me to like her.

I was worried I would like the wine and become a drinker. Maybe I would become one of those bumbling idiots who can’t hold company with sober people.

She poured the Reisling into the glass and showed me how to swirl it. I felt like an aristocrat. I sniffed the wine as she did. She took a small sip and showed me how to “chew” it to extract the most flavor.

I took a sip and chewed it. All of my worries were immediately banished - this stuff was disgusting. I was shocked, actually. I really thought that I would like it and would have to then force myself not to drink.

But it tasted like rotten fruit and gasoline all mixed together. She was also surprised that I didn’t like it, and urged me to try another sip. I wouldn’t.

Another time I went to visit my friend Lindsay. She had a friend over who was sitting on the porch in front, drinking a red icy drink. I introduced myself and she offered me a sip.

“Oh, no thanks. I don’t drink.”

She laughed, “It’s not alcoholic.”

I knew it was. But then again, why would some girl I just met possibly try to trick me into drinking? It made no sense at all, so I took a sip. It wasn’t as offensive as the wine, but was certainly alcoholic.

Later I accidentally drank a sip of mimosa because I thought it was orange juice : gross.

A vodka or something clear on the rocks that I thought was water : gross.

Katya was drinking a red wine that she claimed was fantastic. She’d made a strong effort not to drink so I figured I’d indulge and try it. Gross.

I honestly don’t understand how people become drinkers. Alcohol is so incredibly foul that it baffles me that people bother to aquire the taste. I ate a bite of a 100 year old egg, a Chinese delicacy which consists of a egg which is buried in the ground until it rots and ferments and turns black and green.

It was better than any alcoholic beverage I’ve ever tried.

And then there’s the issue of control. I like being in control of my life. I make some sweet decisions.

Alcohol takes away control.

I don’t need or want the things it offers. I’m already secure, inhibition-free, happy, unstressed, and have enough great friends to prevent me from being lonely or bored. What could I possibly gain?

What if I did like it? Would I become one of those pathetic drunks that no one wants to talk to who annoys everyone? Maybe. Nearly every interaction I’ve ever had with someone who was drunk was awful.

Those that were bearable would have been far better if they weren’t drinking. Oh god - and the “man, we were so wasted…” stories. There is no good story that begins that way.

I’m constantly thinking about my future, and how actions I take now will affect me. Why give drinking a chance to develop into a habit that I might struggle with for years?

Think about this : is there anyone who you have ever respected MORE because they drank? Is there anyone who you’ve respected more because they DIDN’T drink?

And how about the health benefits? Sure a glass of wine a day is supposedly good for you. So is grape juice and a million other things. Also, the health benefits are miniscule compared to hundreds of other easier health tips that could be taken to heart.

I’m not trying to convert anyone here. If you drink and you’re happy about it, then that’s great for you. I recognize that there are benefits to drinking as well. For example, the best bite of your steak is the first bite because steak coats your toungue in a film that inhibits taste. Red wine dissolves that film.

If you drink, though, I hope this gives you some perspective into why I chose not to drink, and at least gets you to consider why you drink (feel free to answer that in the comments - I’d love to hear it).

Personally, I’ll never drink or do drugs. There’s just too much liability for too few benefits. I also like being one of the few who was strong enough to never give in and try it. Cheers!

Yeah, you heard it here first. And only here. I’m done with raw food.

Why, you might ask? The whole reason I was even eating raw in the first place was because it helped with polyphasic sleep. I’m not doing that anymore, so I have to really evaluate the benefits of it. I feel great, but I also felt great when I was eating along the lines of my skinny snob diet. When I was doing that and working out people constantly were telling me that I look better than ever. Now they just cower in fear and throw garbage at me. More to the point - if I have any goal as far as health goes, it’s to bulk up a bit (15-20 pounds of lean mass). Eating raw is definitely not helping that. I also want to live forever, but my old diet is very much in line with that as well. So, it’s back to regular food for me.

The other benefit is that it’s a lot easier to accomodate my diet anywhere I go. Because of raw food I had to stop going to most restaurants that I enjoy, other than my weekly cheat meal. I think I’m doing away with that as well.

Hayden is also interested in bulking up, so we’re going to do it together. We both weigh the same amount right now, so we’ll have a little friendly competition. In fact, I have given him not only permission, but clear instructions, to punch me in the face if I don’t stick to the plan. It’s going to be a hardcore regimen, so any motivation I can get is good motivation. If it comes to that, the punch will come as a surprise and will be videod and posted here.

I’m going to be taking pictures weekly as well as weight and body fat measurements. I’m going to set up a tripod in my closet and wear the same thing every time so that any gain / loss will be really noticable. Maybe I’ll go nuts and throw up all the stats that my crazy scale provides. So for those of you yearning for pictures of me in my skivvies, rejoice! For the rest of you - I’ve got nothing.

“Tynan, you’re a huge quitter. Keep eating raw!”

Maybe I am a huge quitter. I actually hate breaking streaks. My first girlfriend in high school and I ate dinner together 250 nights in a row, largely because neither of us wanted to break the streak. It’s possible that this is all just justification, so read it with a grain of salt.

I see myself as highly adaptive. I think I quit things when they fail to serve me any longer, but ALWAYS after I have gotten through the hard part. I could easily keep eating raw for the rest of my life. It’s not a matter of will power or discipline anymore. I could also keep being polyphasic. But at some point it’s important to evaluate my goals and decide which of my habits are supporting them, and which aren’t.

Also, I love totally immersing myself in weird subcultures, learning everything I can, and then taking a step back.

• Take pickup, for example. I was hardcore - I moved across the country to live with the best PUAs in the world, and ended up teaching with them. I got over my fear of approach, and basically any other insecurities I had (other than going for the first kiss which still freaks me out a bit). I went out 21 days in a row. Now I never go out. I don’t even try to pick up girls. But now because of subconscious habits, girls seem to love me. And if I see a girl I’m totally into, I know that I have the ability and confidence to get her. I don’t NEED to be a pickup artist anymore.
• Running is another example. Thanks to a bet with Hayden (I’ve GOT to write this story sometime… remind me when I slow down posting), I got hardcore about running. I had huge calves and ran 10 miles. I hated every minute of it, but I got past that 3 mile barrier that’s hard to break. Now I never run, but I know that it’s something I can do, and it gave me some appreciation for exercise.
• I’m not polyphasic anymore, but I know that if I need more time, I can switch. I know it’s possible. I understand the value of a nap.
• Being a professional gambler enabled me separate emotion from money, and to critically analyze the odds of everything. It may not sound like a valuable skill, but it’s one I use nearly every day.

Anyway, you get the point. I think it’s extremely important to get past the pain barrier. Don’t be someone who eats a raw meal, be someone who is a raw foodist. Not someone who ran, but a runner. I see 95% of people get up as soon as they hit that pain barrier. What’s the point? You’ve gained nothing except for the knowledge that you’re weak.

There are definitely a bunch of great raw foods that I will continue to eat, and once I get older I may switch back completely for health reasons. If I ever want to lose weight, I know I can do it easily.

My biggest criticism with personal development, self improvement, or whatever you want to call it, is that a lot of it is theoretical or has little effect on your life NOW. Of course, most people become interested in personal development because of problems they’re facing immediately, which creates a perfect setup for disappointment.

Thinking back on the different areas in which I’ve directed my efforts, here is a short list of some of the most effective ones which got results quickly (in no particular order):

1. Buy and read the book Fantastic Voyage : Live Long Enough to Live Forever. It’s a fascinating read and will give you a deep and valuable understanding of your body, nutrition, and food. When I read it I did so because I was bored, even though I had no particular interest in health or diet. Reading it instantly changed the way I see a lot of things.

2. Open up a new bank account and religiously deposit 10-15% of your after tax income into it every month. This is money that you will NEVER SPEND for your entire life. As it grows you earn interest, and spend that (or add it to this same account). Once you have a significant amount of money, you can then invest it in something reliable like an index fund. You are allowed to use it as a down payment for a house.

3. Go through your house with a trash bag and throw away everything you don’t need. You will immediately feel happier, less stressed, and more motivated to work on other projects. (be sure to look in cabinets, the fridge, and your desk - you will probably need more than one bag)

4. Get in the habit of taking a walk every day. Taking walks is surprisingly therapeutic (I do it every time I have a big decision to make, or feel stressed) and is also really good for your cardiovascular system. If you can do it during the day, that’s even better. A moderate amount of sun is the best way to get Vitamin D and a healthy looking tan to make the ladies (and boys) swoon.

5. Starting at the top of the list, make a decision on one person in your phone every day. They either get a phone call or deleted. You might feel weird calling people you haven’t talked to in a while, but think of how you would feel if they called just to see how you were doing. You’d probably feel really good that you were being thought about. During this process you’ll also find people you’ll never talk to again. Deleting their number will save time and effort when scrolling through your phone book.

6. Similar to #3, go through your closet and either pack up (to be lost in the attic forever), throw away, or donate any clothes you haven’t worn in the past 30 days. (Exceptions are seasonal items [can't you just pack those?] or things like a suit or party dress that doesn’t expect frequent use.)

7. Go shopping and buy enough of the following items to last at least 6 months :

• toothpaste
• paper towels
• toilet paper (try moistened towelettes! they’re way better)
• soap
• detergent for clothes and dishes
• plastic bags (zip lock and trash)

If you can think of any other items where a) the price isn’t going to change drastically b) your preference probably won’t change c) the shelf life is very long, then stock up on those too. Look! You’ve just eliminated a serious chunk of your todo list and mindless errands for the next six months!

8. If you’re disorganized, get and read Getting Things Done : The Art of Stress-Free Productivity. It will have you organized with a gameplan for staying organized easily within 1-3 days. If you’re already organized, then you can just take a second and gloat.

9. Find the most expensive item you have that you don’t use anymore and sell it on ebay. It will take you 10 minutes at most, plus another 30 minutes to ship (while you’re at the post ofice, get 100 2 cent stamps and never worry about that again). Alternatively, just send it to me as a present.

10. Show this page to your friends! Helping out other people makes you feel better, and working on some of these things with your friends will make them more fun.

Don’t just read this list and think “that’s a good idea”. Do it now! If you’re at work, then order the books, take a break and make your first phone call while you take a walk.

I tried to fairly evenly distribute the focus between the three areas of Health, Wealth, and Relationships. Relationships has the least focus because improving your health and wealth will likely improve relationships as well. If you could use some extra help with meeting women or being attractive to them, check out my book called Make Her Chase You. I am a world famous pickup artist who has learned from the best ladies’ men in the world, and I’ve condensed all of my knowledge into one awesome book.

Of course if you’re a lovely lady and you’re looking to improve your relationships, just e-mail me…

The concept of Value vs. Price is one that I am inexplicably fascinated by. Maybe it’s the fact that most people ignore it entirely, or maybe it’s because following its principles virtually guarantees success in any area.

Most people do not understand the difference between value and price or, at the very least, greatly underestimate it.

So, what is the difference between value and price? Value is the benefit derived from an action, and price is the benefit lost by performing an action. What makes this such a profound concept is that every action has a value and a cost associated with it, and it is usually fairly easy to measure. Our unconscious minds are constantly evaluating the price and value of every possible choice, which ends up governing many of our actions.

Example #1 - Wealth

Take the purchase of a computer as an example. If you buy a computer for $1000, the price is simply $1000. But what’s the value? Let’s assume that you’re a writer, and you are replacing an old computer which has suddenly broken. You have a book due the next day, and will be penalized by $10,000 if you do not turn it in on that day (yes, I know this isn’t a realistic penalty). In this case, the value is about $10,000.

For me to buy that computer, however, the value is far less. I have several computers. I don’t use the computer that much anymore. The value isn’t $0, because I could potentially sell the computer (probably for less than $1000), with an additional price of my time. So the value may be $700 to me.

In this example, the decision of whether or not to buy a computer is obvious for both me and the writer. The writer should buy it, and I should not. The cost of an item is the net effect it has on us, after considering the price and value. For the writer the cost of the computer is -$9000, meaning that he is essentially gaining $9000 by completing the transaction. To me the cost is $300, meaning I am losing $300 by buying the computer.

An interesting phenomenon to note is that sales often don’t REALLY affect the cost of an item. For example, if there was a $200 off coupon for that computer, it wouldn’t change my decision to buy the computer or not. It obviously wouldn’t affect the writer either. The only possible effect it would have is to make us more likely to purchase that product AT THAT STORE, rather than at all. I see many people (I used to be very guilty of this) buying things with low price, but significant cost. Doing this is a sure path to financial scarcity.

Of course, price isn’t simply the number on the pricetag. What if the computer was for sale at $800 100 miles away, and $1000 2 miles away? A round trip drive to get the cheaper computer would take me 4 hours rather than a couple minutes. If four hours of my time (plus wear and tear on the car and gas) is worth less than the $200 difference in price, the writer should drive and get that cheaper computer.

This seems like a simple concept, but I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen people (myself included) spend hours searching for a lower price on something which only ends up saving $20 or so. Often times dealhunting isn’t worth the cost.

Example #2 - Relationships

More interesting is this concept applied to non financial matters, because most people don’t even begin to consider it. Let’s take, for example, the choice of going out to clubsor staying in.

If I go out to a club, the intention is to meet women. I don’t drink, I don’t dance, and I don’t particularly relish the club atmosphere. Sometimes I’ll go downtown to hang out with friends, but that’s a different decision.

In any given night I might talk to 9 different women. Three groups of three. For me to be significantly interested in a girl, it takes time for me to get to know her (mainly because I’m picky and have a list of things which will disqualify her). I would estimate that I am seriously interested in one out of three hundred girls that I meet downtown.

If I’m interested in a girl and have a good opportunity to get to know her, I believe that she will be attracted to me almost 100% of the time. However, I’d say that getting a good opportunity to get to know a girl only happens around 40% of the time. The club atmosphere makes it difficult to get a good opportunity, but it is possible to increase that percentage to 100% with skill. In LA it was probably more like 70-80% for me when I was well practiced.

So let’s boil these numbers down. If I’m only able to attract 40% of the 300 girls necessary to find one I’m interested in, that’s 750 girls I must meet before finding one who I will be compatible with and will develop a relationship of sorts with. If I am meeting 9 girls per night, that means that it will take 84 nights out to “meet someone”.

On an average night, including driving and getting ready, I probably spend 5 hours to meet those 9 girls. That means that the price of meeting a girl is 420 hours of my time. That’s significant.

Of course, I do have fun when I go out and meet all those people. Some might become friends. I’m also going out with my friends and we joke around and have a good time. However, I would probably be doing something fun if I wasn’t going out as well, so those two effects can cancel each other.

What’s the value of beginning a relationship with a girl? It’s tough to say. If I had no other means of meeting a girl, I would probably go out religiously. The cost of NEVER having a girl is monumental, so I would be willing to spend the 420 hours of my time to meet that girl.

The reality, however, is that I do meet girls in other situations. Whole foods, friends of friends, and even through my blog. This is why I rarely go out anymore - the price I pay is simply not worth the value I receive.

Example #3 - Health

One last example is eating healthy. Eating raw food is expensive. I went to the grocery store last night and spent $150 buying 4-5 days worth of food. That’s probably about $7000 more per year than regular food would cost me. It’s also a pain. I can’t eat anything more than a plain salad at most restaurants. Some of the foods aren’t as tasty as conventional foods. That represents a significant price to pay for eating raw food.

What is the value of eating raw? For one, longevity. I believe that I will not only live for 10-20 years longer than the average person, but will be active and healthy for at least 10-20 additional years. I also need less sleep (to be determined by my break from Polyphasic sleep), which gives me more usable time. Let’s say that I go from 8 hours to 5.5 hours, which I feel is conservative. That’s 912.5 hours per year, or around 50 extra days. I also feel a lot better on a daily basis and look better thanks to lower bodyfat percentages and better skin.

For the sake of convenience (and because we don’t have years to make every decision), let’s cancel a few things out. Let’s say that the value of feeling and looking better is roughly equal to the cost of not being able to eat out, and not being able to eat tasty things like egg rolls.

The average lifespan is 75 in America, so let’s assume I will live to 90. I believe that’s very conservative. Since I am about 25 now, that means that I will be alive for another 65 years. At 50 extra days per year thanks to decreased sleep, that gives me an extra 3250 days of life, or almost 9 years.

The additional $7000 price of eating raw multiplied by my remaining 65 calendar years adds up to $455,000. That’s not insignificant.

So, when it all boils down to it, I am paying $455,000 for an extra 24 years of life, or $19,000 per year. To me that’s obviously worth it. To others it’s not. How about you?

Living Your Life

Living your life by the concept of Value vs. Price is essential. By constantly increasing the value of your habits, relationships, and posessions, you are constantly moving forward, and increasing your pool from which you are able to pay the price of new value. For example, with all my extra time, I can SPEND more time to gain more value.

Being a lawyer, to me anyway, would be the opposite. The value I would receive would be high (a high salary, power, prestige, etc.), but the price would be far too dear. Giving up my waking life for the majority of my productive years is not worth $100k, $200k, or even $1mil per year.

So… I have a problem. I was thinking today and I realized that I am in front of my computer WAY more than I should be. This occured to me when I woke up from one of my naps and made a beeline for the computer. I then realized that I repeat this behaviour every single time I wake up!

Further, there’s no reason for me to be in front of this giant box ‘o fun. Well, right now there is because I’m writing a post, but for most of the day I DEFAULT to sitting in front of the computer. I scan through the 30 or so sites I have on my toolbar, even though most of them only update once or twice a day at most.

This is sick! Think about it - none of my interesting stories start of with “So, I sat in front of the computer all day…”. Every hour I spend in front of this thing is an hour that my life is NOT getting more interesting. I spend a lot of time online chatting with my friends, which I enjoy, but is that really the best use of my time? Probably not.

What’s worse is that it FEELS like an addiction. I’ll think “I should clean my kitchen.” and then I’ll play freecell. Freecell! As if playing freecell could possibly contribute anything valuable to my life. I routinely shirk other duties to waste time at the computer.

The weak justification I rattle around in my brain is that I use the computer to make my income. Fine. If I was using it to make money even 75% of the time I was in front of it, I would be eating gold covered diamonds onboard a submarine in the pacific.

I’ve often told people that I was going to take up smoking for a month just to quit it and prove that it was easy. But if I kick the computer addiction, that’s MUCH more meaningful, because it’s actually something I’m addicted to, rather than a contrived publicity stunt.

So what’s the plan?

I don’t really have one yet. Let’s work this out.

If I was at the computer for 2 hours a day, that would be more than enough for me to do everything I need to do. Realistically, it would be ideal for me to be monitoring it more frequently, but I’d rather start out at an extreme, and then add some time back in. So that’s easy - I’ll keep a stopwatch near the computer, reset it every day at midnight, and allow myself no more time than 2 hours per day.

The more grey area is my phone. It’s a Treo 650, which is a palm pilot and a phone all smooshed into one. Browsing the web is slow enough that I won’t waste my time, but IMing could become a problem. Actually, my IM program for it is super flaky, so maybe that won’t be a problem. Also, typing on it is somewhat annoying, so I may not be too inclined to use it.

The only exception I’m going to allow is for projects which require the computer. I have a system of 5 computers that are responsible for things in my house (lights, media, internet routing, etc), so obviously those will stay on. One project I”m going to work on is reprogramming some of my lights, which will require I use my laptop to look up stuff. As long as IM and the web browser remain closed, I’ll allow it. Oh… and Freecell will stay closed too.

Now - all that remains to do is to shut this bad boy off. I will report back on how it feels to be free of my computer addiction.

Seriously. I’m gonna do it. You dont’ have to keep reading.

Ok, fine.

Seriously. I may not have mentioned this before, but my life revolves around one thing. Tostadas. Whole foods makes them raw, and they are a flax seed cracker with fake beans, avocado, mixed greens, pico de gallo, and fake sour cream. I love these things with most of my heart. Since discovering them I get one every time I go to Whole Foods, and sometimes I take one home with me even though they get soggy.

Tonight I had myself a nice little night planned out. I was going to drive to Whole Foods to meet Todd for Dinner, come back home, get ready, and go hit SXSW with some friends from San Fran.

As usual I took a lesuirely shower and planned it so that I would have JUST enough time to eat dinner there.

As I pulled out of the driveway I noticed that the ride felt a little bumpy. After a block or so I pulled over to find my rear passenger side tire flat.

My tires go flat ALL the time. About a year ago I had the idea that I really needed to get some huge chrome rims. Nevermind that larger rims have a rougher ride and go flat all the time, or that I never really see them - I wanted them. I finally bought some 19″ Carlsson rims with Dunlop SP 9000 tires. I was happy.

When I put them on the car I was less happy. The bolts from my old tires didn’t work. I think I already wrote about this in the Mercedes post, so I won’t go into it. If you don’t feel like reading a rant about Mercedes, the short version is that I drove everywhere and had to spend months to find the right size bolts.

Finally I got it working. The ride was rough, though. Sure, everyone had told me it would be, but I didn’t really believe them. My car has some fancy pneumatic suspension that I had assigned god like powers to. I was wrong. It’s not bad, but the car felt a boat trolling through a lake of chocolate pudding beforehand.

Then of course one of the tires goes flat every couple months. I don’t know why, but apparently this is common with low profile tires. If I would remember to check the pressures, I guess that wouldn’t happen, but I never check. I have a compressor I keep in my trunk so that I can fill the tires back up.

Tonight was different, though. I must have run over a rhinoceros or nunchuck or something because the tire was hissing air. I tried a can of fixaflat as well as the compressor, but the air wouldn’t stay in for long.

No tostada for me.

Luckily I live within potato gun range of Albertsons, so I limped my car there. Surprise! I can’t eat anything in the stupid store. I bought an avocado and some salad stuff but I was absolutely starving.

If only I could eat a pizza. Eh… why not. I eat raw all the time… my body is a veritable digestion monster… finely tuned and ready to handle anything. I guiltily threw the Amy’s Organic pizza into my cart and checked out.

Side note - real groceries are cheap! I bought a HUGE bag of oranges for $4. That’s insane. Normally I can get about 4 organic oranges for that much. I find it tough to stick to buying organic because in many cases it doesn’t taste any different and I don’t feel any better. I’d better be getting some extra years out of life out of this deal.

I hobbled to the gas station, filled up the tire again, raced home, fired up my oven for the first time in over a month, and put the pizza in.

12 minutes later it was done. My weight is now down to 138 which is way too low (I was at 145 two weeks ago), so I was excited about the 900 calories hidden inside the sweet smelling pizza. I poured a large glass of unpasteurized organic orange juice and sat down.

The first bite was delicious. Things made with flour are so soft, I noticed. The whole first piece was pretty tasty. By the second piece I wasn’t as in love. By the time I finished I felt sick.

Newsflash - last time I ate pizza to cheat on my diet I felt gross. Why would I do it again? I may never eat pizza again as long as I live. I feel kinda ok now, but also kinda queasy.

The truth is that I am never tempted to cheat on the diet EXCEPT when I have run out of food. Normal food is so much more convenient and quick that my body screams out “get anything in me!”. I usually don’t, but today I was weak.

If I write about eating another stupid pizza and feeling sick, please sign my e-mail address up for junk mail and post comments telling me I’m an idiot.

My plan? Eat the whole bag of oranges to push this stupid pizza out of my system.

My

Ok, I officially LOVE raw food. I started eating raw about five weeks ago, and have been 99% raw since (my trespasses? a tiny brownie, a few sprouted grain english muffins, and a stupid eggplant pizza). Let’s do the math on this baby :

First I ate 100% of whatever I wanted. I loved fried foods, desserts, and pizza. Thanks to miraculous metabolism, I never gained too much weight. Then I read Fantastic Voyage : Live Long Enough to Live Forever, hacked away at my diet, and cut out probably 70% of the foods I used to eat. Later I researched more and cut out 90% of those foods, leaving me eating about 7% of what I initially ate. I wrote a book called The Skinny Snob about that. Going raw eliminated at least 70% of those foods, so now I’m down to about 2-3% of the foods I ate a year ago. Based on my daily diet I would consider that wholly accurate.

Now… that is a wild change. Especially coming from me. I would constantly mock anyone trying to go on a diet and explain that you should just eat whatever you wanted. No amount of logic would get me to change. What did get me to change was my inclination to try things for 7 or 30 days, and the accompanying drastic results.

Try it!

Despite it being a huge interruption to normal life, I would HIGHLY reccomend that everyone try going raw for at least a week. Most changes need 30 days to full experience them, but honestly you will notice the difference with raw food in only a week. If you’re an Austinite, then just go to the downtown Whole Foods and buy 7 days worth of meals. The people who work there are cool and can help you work around the short shelf lives of some of the foods. Hell, if there are enough people here I would even host a week long raw food extravaganza.

The biggest noticeable change is that I look a lot healthier. My eyes are brighter, my skin is more vibrant, and maybe my hair is better. I have a lot more energy and I feel like my mood is even higher on average than it used to be. I need less sleep, and I feel MUCH better after every meal.

Eating meals is a complete joy because not only is the food delicious, but I can imagine how much my body loves it and how it puts every ingredient to good use. Even after eating the largest meal, I my stomach feels fine and my energy isn’t sapped.

But what do Raw Foodists actually eat?

I think there’s the perception that all we eat is salad all day, but that’s not true at all. Here are some of my favorite things to eat :

Breakfast

• Raw granola
• Apples, Oranges, Bananas, Kiwis, Mangoes, or other fruits
• Cinnamon Date Mana Bread (raw bread that tastes sorta like a muffin)
• Oatmeal (I’ve been too lazy to make this so far, because it takes 5 days)
• Raw ice cream

Lunch or Dinner

• Asian vegetable salad
• Raw meatloaf
• Nut burgers (these things are SO good)
• Sashimi and seaweed salad
• Tostadas (my FAVORITE thing at Whole Foods Austin)
• Regular “boring” salad with greens, avocadoes, peppers, olive oil and lemons
• Raw Lasagna

Snacks

• Almonds
• Rosemary crackers
• Flax seed crackers and guacamole
• Fruit
• Larabars (these things are also like dessert) or Organic Food Bars
• Cucumbers or Carrots in hummus

Desserts

• Key Lime Pie (this is better than ANY cooked Key lime pie I’ve ever had - including the one I had in Key West)
• Raw Cheesecake (I don’t even like real cheesecake, but this is ridiculously good)
• Raw cookies
• Raw ice cream

Obviously there are a million more great things to eat, but these are some of my staples that I really enjoy. In that Raw Food/Real World book there are 100 recipes, and I’ve only done 1 of them so far.

Luckily, I just got my dehydrator. It is the mack daddy of all dehydrators, the Excalibur 2900. I’m pretty sure that all raw food restaurants use this particular workhorse (Whole Foods has 10 of them), as do most serious Raw Foodists. I just got it two days ago and so far all I’ve made was raw popcorn which was really gross. Next up is raw onion rings, and after that I’m going to start making normal stuff like flax seed crackers and the recipes from Raw Food/Real World. They have some little tacos that look particularly tasty as well as coconut almond macaroons.

Cooked Food is Gross

This will seem weird, but cooked food seems really gross to me now. Maybe I’ve brainwashed myself - I don’t know. But when I see someone cooking over a stove I just think “wow… that is really gross. I can’t believe people eat that”. The more you eat raw the more you realize that it is logically (and practically) the best diet possible. No animals eat cooked food. Our bodies could not POSSIBLY evolve fast enough to be designed for cooked food. Cooking destroys nutrients and alters the original balance of the food. It makes so much sense that I can’t imagine how I never tried this before. I guess I just had too much of a closed mind. Really even after hearing about it I was highly skeptical until I tried it myself for a week.

The Transition

Believe it or not, is has been EASY to transition to raw food. This is totally counterintuitive and unexpected.

A couple months ago I tried going Vegan for a couple weeks and I found it to be awful. It felt restrictive and I didn’t feel any better than when I was eating my Skinny Snob diet, which is much more permissive. Within two weeks I gave up on the diet.

Raw food has a different feel. You WANT to do it because you feel great after every meal. Instead of feeling like you’re restricting your diet, you feel like you’ve uncovered a whole new world of great foods that you never knew existed. Ironically, being Raw is vegan (although I still eat raw fish on occasion), but much more restrictive. It just doesn’t feel that way.

I’ve never once craved any sort of meat (which previously was a major staple of my diet) or really any other food. Occasionally when I’m really hungry and it’s late at night and I have no food left I will crave the CONVENIENCE of normal food, but never the actual foods themselves.

I’m normally not preachy, but I believe so strongly that everyone has got to at least try this. The problem is that most raw foodists seem to be total nutcases with bizarre theories involving the life force of food and stuff like that which really puts me off. The best reason to go raw is because it is what your body wants and because you will feel and look better within days. If I get around to it, I’m going to write an ebook helping people make the transition without any annoying hippie speak.