Ok. I know I put this same picture up a couple days ago - but there’s a reason. Someone STOLE my chain last night. I am incapable of taking another picture with the chain now. Here’s how the caper went down :

A friend of mine was having a birthday party. Because it was important to me that his party be cool, I lugged over my huge subwoofer, a projector, my laptop, and all the cables and stuff. I also spent a good part of my day downloading music videos. I even skipped a nap to set it up. And it should be said that I hate doing any sort of manual labor, but I carried that subwoofer up the stairs to the party. Ok, so I didn’t heal any sick children or anything, but the point is that I made a genuine effort to contribute to this party.

Incidentally, I also wore my chain, hat, and other interesting accoutrements. Of course, throughout the night, many people wanted to try on the chain. Why not? Everyone’s got a little gangsta in them, and it’s healthy to express that.

Wait… let’s get this out in the open first : there were no hot girls here. There were a couple girls who were cute, flirty, and who I genuinely enjoyed the company of. So I’m not saying I was really upset about the whole thing, but it needs to be said.

When someone asked to wear my chain, I was usually happy to oblige. The thing is really heavy and does hurt to wear. Everyone got to wear it except for one girl.

I was sitting down having a lovely conversation with a couple friends and a couple new people I met. All of a sudden, someone from behind is trying to remove my chain. Without asking. Ugly girls do crap like this ALL THE TIME (usually with the hat). Of course I bust on her for having no manners, and instead of apologizing and ASKING to wear the chain, she tugs harder and says something like “I don’t have to ask, I’m a girl”.

I look up at her and realize that she’s a beast with no manners or social grace, so I tell her point blank “Look, at this point there’s no way you’re going to get to wear the chain”. She leaves in a huff.

As the party wears on, it gets late and I’m convinced that my collar bones are bruised. Most of the party goers are gone, and I had expensive electronics sitting on the counter that weren’t getting stolen, so I felt like it would be ok for me to take off my chain. I put it in the middle of the counter.

As I finish up my last conversation for the night, I walk to the counter to retrieve my chain, and IT’S MISSING. Someone actually STOLE my chain. So let me do a little recap for you :

Tynan goes to the party and brings the music and videos
Tynan wears interesting things which lead to many nice little conversations for people
Tynan generously lets everyone but ONE GIRL wear the chain (and I’d say that I was nice and didn’t piss off at least 90% of the crowd)
Tynan is STOLEN FROM

Unbelievable. I looked all over the place, and there was no chain in sight. It’s not like anyone would even steal the chain to wear - NO ONE else would wear that thing. AND I had the keys at home, so if that girl thinks she’s going to chain her fridge closed or something, she’s out of luck. There is NO benefit to stealing my chain except to deliberately piss me off.

Man. I’m pissed.

Want to know what the best part of your business coming to a screeching halt is? LOOTING. I had a very successful business for 6 years that I recently stopped. It was good money, but was a lot of stress and not particularly rewarding. I had several state of the art computers at the office, so I looted them today. Now I have three monitors instead of one, and a sweet ass water machine.

Also, I went to Home Depot Jacob the Jeweler and got some sick bling today. Composed mostly entirely out of stainless steel fine platinum, it weighs in at 6 pounds. Besides being horribly uncomfortable around the neck, it punches me in the stomach with the lock as I walk. I consider the purchase an overwhelming success. One of my good friends is throwing a party tomorrow night, and I plan on rocking the chain.

Coming tomorrow… what it’s like when people think you’re a celebrity… (really)

As I wrote in a previous article, I stayed for a few days in the Luxor Penthouse Suite. It’s available only to high rollers and is about 4800 sqft. Because I had previously always wanted to see the inside of one of these suites, I took a few minutes and snapped some pictures for you.

We have plans to go back to Vegas already. The Golden Nugget is going to fly us out to Vegas, and then fly to Houston via private jet to see the Miami Heat vs. Houston Rockets game. I’m not actually a basketball fan, but I like seeing games live and have always wanted to ride in a private jet. Also, the Luxor has invited us to see the Mosley vs. Vargas boxing match. Expect pictures of both, and many other events to come…

Check out the pictures of the luxor suite.

As some of you may know, I paint my nails silver. Why? Everyone always asks, but the real answer is just because I think it’s cool.

When I read this article about platinum nailpolish I was really excited. The polish is called “I do” by Essie.One of my favorite things is excess, so I figured $250/ year to have my nails coated with real platinum was a bargain. I had the Amex concierge call around to try to find me a bottle, and they reported back that the only place to get the polish was at the Wynn in Vegas. Not only that, but you can’t just buy a bottle of it. You need to get their very expensive manicure which includes the bottle. So yesterday I headed over to the Wynn to get it done.

The salon in the Wynn is gorgeous. It’s huge and very well decorated. As they do at many spas, they offered me a drink. I don’t drink, so I got water. It always strikes me as a weird offer, though. I manage to take a few sips, and then my hands are being worked on for a little over an hour, making it impossible to drink the water.

The manicure is absolutely ridiculous. I would have taken notes or something if I knew I was going to report back here about it. I’d say that roughly 7-8 different oils, scrubs, and waxes were applied to my hands during the whole process. My forearms were massaged three times. The detail paid to my cuticles was intense. I can honestly say I don’t even understand WHY cuticles need to be removed, but rest assured that mine are completey gone.

The highlight was the paraffin wax treatment. My manicurist plunged my hands into a vat of hot wax. When I saw the vat and its contents it looked like fondue, and I have to admit I was a bit hesitant to put my hands into it.

When my handes came out, they were dripping with with gooey warm wax and wrapped in plastic. It was particularly pleasant because the wax holds the heat well and kept my hands warm for a while. Removing the wax is easy - it just peels off like a glove. My hands felt really soft after that.

Anyway… after the hour long ritual it finally came time to apply the polish.

Surprise!

It’s not platinum colored. I’ll admit that when I first heard of the polish I thought that it was strange that it was platinum colored, since I’ve never seen anyone with silver nails who hasn’t gotten the idea from me. The color is somewhere between clear and white. A bit… subtle for my tastes.

A big problem I face (yeah… life’s tough) is that I can only find low quality silver nail polish. In fact, the Wynn had hundreds of colors, but no silver. I opted for two coats of a silver glitter, topped with a layer of the platinum polish. It looks pretty cool, but I like the silver look better. I’ll probably try a layer of the platinum over the silver next time.

I’m wearing an offensively soft egyptian terry cotton robe right now. I just got out of the solid marble steam room that’s in my bathroom. Before that I was soaking with some lavender sea salts in the raised jacuzzi tub, also off my bedroom. Before that I was having my ass kissed by a variety of casino employees.

That’s right, I’m in the penthouse suite of the Luxor hotel.

Yesterday a friend of mine called me to ask how to play Blackjack. He was at the luxor playing rather large hands of blackjack. So large, in fact, that they offered him the penthouse suite, which must be at least 4000 sq. ft. He offered to fly me up to occupy the second bedroom of the suite. At first I declined - I don’t like to accept favors I can’t repay.

After a while he convinced me, though. He argued that he would probably save much more than the airfare if I sat with him and showed him what to do. After a twice delayed flight (took my polynaps in the plane and presidents’ club in the airport) I arrived at McCarran airport, greeted by a private limo sent courtesy of the Luxor.

I’d heard about casino hosts, so I did some research and got in touch with one of the top hosts in the world. Immediately he offered my friend a free trip to Vegas, highlighted by a trip via private jet to Houston to watch the Heat vs. the Rockets.

Not wanting to leave me out, my friend split his bankroll with me so that we could both play in the high limit blackjack area. Of course I return all winnings to him (although he has generously offered some of them to me), and wouldn’t be liable for losses. But the real benefit is that now the casino sees ME as a high roller, so I can go on trips like the basketball one.

So, until Tuesday I will be living life like a high roller.

The point of this post is mostly to brag about how great my life is. I mean… the point of this post is that this experience so far has been incredibly motivating. THIS is how life should be lived. I love Vegas and have had some awesome trips here, but none quite like this.

Also, I’m going to post tons of pictures of the suite. I always wanted to see what they looked like on the inside, but could never find pictures.