Hi! My Name is Tynan...

I'm an egomaniac vegan pickup artist who sold everything and is traveling around the world. I generally do whatever I want whenever I want, even when I'm pretty sure it's a bad idea. I like singing gangsta rap, writing, working out, working on my business, traveling, and finding adventure. I always wear a sequinned hat with stars on it.

This Site Is About...

Better than Your Boyfriend is about self improvement. I'm talking about getting off the beaten path, forging your own interesting life, and living outside the box. Doing what you dream of doing. Relentless pursuit of excellence. No filler, rehashed ideas, or feel-goodery that doesn't bring results.

Archive: Polyphasic

Polyphasic vs. Monophasic Deathmatch

Ok, I just added the “Deathmatch” to make this seem a little sexier. It’s been 4 nights or so on monophasic sleep and I feel like I have a good basis to compare them.

Overall, there are some pretty big surprises. The most significant is that I’m back to sleeping a full 8 hours. The first night I slept only 5 hours, but from there it ramped up. What? I was totally expecting raw food to pull through for me here. I also feel more tired during the day! It’s only been a few days, so maybe I need more time to adjust, but so far I feel like I’m less alert.

The best part about monophasic sleep, not surprisingly, is that my day is uninterrupted. This gives me a lot of freedom to do whatever I want during the day without worrying about a nap. I still occasionally think “Wait… when’s my next nap?”. Right now I live about 15-25 minutes North of most activities. If I want to take a nap at home and come back, that’s 1 hour to 1:40 of driving time I have to factor in. Because of this I would often have dinner with friends but then go home instead of going out. I would also schedule things at strange times to avoid messing up my naps. Occasionally I would throw caution to the wind and skip naps or push them around, which would inevitably mess up the schedule.

Another surprise is that I don’t have enough time anymore. The days seem to fly by and often times at night I get frustrated knowing I have to sleep and stop whatever I’m doing. When I was polyphasic I felt like I had too much time, but if the alternative is too little time, I’ll take too much.

The quality of my sleep is also far inferior to polyphasic sleep. My naps felt like several hours at a time, involved detailed dreams, and just felt like really deep sleep. Now I feel like I’m bumbling through the night.

Overall, I like polyphasic sleep a lot better. I think I’m going to make plans to move downtown so that it is always convenient for me to leave to take my naps. I also take naps in my car occasionally, but 30% of the time I can’t fall asleep or don’t sleep as much as I would have liked to.

I’m glad that I’ve given monophasic sleep another try, because my motivation to stay on poly was waning. However, now I am pretty convinced that polyphasic is far superior. I’m pretty sure that I can easily switch back to poly, although I wish I had someone to do it with me. It will be interesting to see how hard it is to transition back.

I Have So Much to Tell You

Live and direct, here are some updates on my latest drastic changes, as well as my encounter with a deadly rattlesnake. I’m talking specifically about taking a break from polyphasic sleep and giving up the computer, of course.

It’s now been a little bit over 48 hours since giving up the computer and taking a break from polyphasic. Both transitions went far better than I expected.

First, giving up the computer was a great idea. In that first 24 hours I got more important stuff done around the house than I had in the past month. I cleaned up where I had a minor flood, began cleaning the kitchen, and moved the last of my stuff out of my office. I also spent time with several of my friends, which made it much easier.

Using my Treo 650, I can see if I have any new e-mail. I have it set to check only every 30 minutes, so I’m not constantly distracted. Also, the blog e-mails me all comments on posts, so I can read those while I’m away from the computer. The treo isn’t very distracting at all, and can be taken with me no matter where I am, so this seems like the basis of a good solution.

In fact, in the first 24 hours I only ended up using 50 minutes of computer time. It feels great to break free of the computer and get things done. I am going to change it to 60 minutes of computer time, plus all the time I need for commercial enterprises. I have some upcoming projects that require using the computer, and spending that time is certainly to my benefit. Also, I don’t want to have to rush through my posts here.

Polyphasic was a little harder to kick. I took a couple naps early in the day, but after that I went out so it was easy to stay awake. In fact, I stayed out until 3:30 and was on the phone until 4:30, so I got to bed later than expected. Even so, I woke up naturally at 9am. I was still tired so I went back to sleep and woke up at 10:15. Five hours and fifteen minutes of sleep. Not too bad for staying up so late. I feel well rested, but the sleep is boring, unlike polyphasic which is full of dreams and feels deeper.

Yesterday Kristen and I went to hang out in this park near her house. I don’t really know if park is the right word - it’s an expanse of land including a lake, an enormous field (paragliding part II coming soon!), and some sparsley populated woods.

The first cool thing about this park is that there are pecan trees everywhere. Kristen showed me how to open the pecans and they were delicious! We stuffed my pockets full of them and I ate them for the rest of the day. I have a pecan tree in my backyard, too. I wonder if it makes deliciosu pecans as well.

Anyway, we were walking through the brush adjoining one of the fields when all of a sudden she yells “Whoa! A rattlesnake!”. God damn you, Texas. I always hear about the creepy snakes we have here in Texas (5 poisonous ones?), but had only once seen a Water Moccassin many years ago.

Sure enough I look down and there is a rattlesnake coiled. I jumped back and immediately became very suspicious of the rest of the brush. This thing was really well camoflauged - how many others were there.

Kristen? She wasn’t afraid.

WHO THE HELL ISN’T AFRAID OF SNAKES?

I mean… there’s a movie about “Snakes on a Plane” now, just because people are so afraid of snakes. The worst part is that we were stuck in the middle of the brush, so getting to safety surely involved stomping on several snake holes on the way out. Luckily for me, Kristen carried me to safety. I was going to act like I carried her safely to preserve my overwhelming masculinity, but she promised to come here and set the record straight if I did - and I don’t know how to ban people from the blog yet.

So, yeah… a tiny girl carried me away from the deadly snakes. If it helps restore your previously ingrained macho image of me, I did carry her later on. Yeah… that doesn’t help me either.

Just as I was leaving Kristen’s place, Luke called me. He and his friends wanted to get dinner, which was perfect because I was in their area and starving. We went to get sushi (again I feel sick after eating sashimi and seaweed salad, with the same symptoms), and then later went to sixth. Overall it was quite fun. The hilarious part is that Steve, who recently moved from San Francisco to Austin, leases a large office right above Firehouse, a popular bar on sixth street.

They’re intent on getting a good afterparty going there, which is a fantastic idea. However, due to extremely poor planning and lukewarm group participation, both times I’ve gone out with them have ended with the four of us sitting around in the office talking about business. At least there’s a nice backdrop set by the rotating multicolored strobe globes, affectionately referred to as “the party balls”.

So now I guess it’s time for me to either get off the computer, use up some of my precious computer time, or do some work on it. Adios!

Taking a Break from Polyphasic!

Sounds drastic, right? I’ve decided that I’m going to take a break from polyphasic sleep - probably 3-4 weeks. As of today I’ve been doing it for about 4.5 months, and I feel like I have a good feel for what it’s like.

The truth is that napping during the day isn’t hard to do, but it is definitely disruptive - especially to other people. For example, last week a friend from San Francisco was in town for South by Southwest. I was hanging out with him and his friends, when all of a sudden it was nap time. They basically had to sit around and wait for me to take my nap, or lose my company. If I was deriving great benefit from the schedule, it would be worth such social impositions, but I’m not really getting that much from it.

I don’t really need the extra time right now. I thought I would make good use of it, but I honestly don’t. If I was super busy, then I would be more motivated to stay on polyphasic sleep. Also, no one else is doing it with me anymore, so my options for what to do during the night are fairly limited. Because I don’t really need the sleep, and usually don’t have too much to do at night, I end up slightly oversleeping. This means that I probably sleep 4-4.5 hours per day on average.

I’m also curious to see how much sleep I really need. My suspicion is that thanks to Raw Food, I only need 4.5-6 hours anyway. A schedule of 5am-10am or so would probably serve me just as well, and remove an incompatibilities between polyphasic and real life. Determining how much sleep I naturally need now is probably the biggest motivator to taking a break.

The biggest hesitation for taking a break from polyphasic sleep is derived from having done it for so long. I don’t like breaking the streak, and I feel like people may read this and decide not to try it for themselves. However, I think that with the knowledge I’ve gained through these past months, I could easily get reacclimated to the schedule if I decide I want it back.

I also intend to continue napping during the day when it’s convenient. I’m hoping for about 4 hours at night plus one or two 30 minute naps during the day. I actually really enjoy every nap, I just don’t like the restrictions they impose.

All that said, I will really miss my naps. Most of them involve very deep sleep and an interesting dream, which is more than I can claim for my monophasic sleep.

Brace yourself for updates!

Raw Food Update #1

Hola, Jovenes. I recently switched over to a primarily raw food diet. I’ve since modified it to include Ezekiel products.

Why? Because a) they’re awesome and b) I don’t yet have my dehydrator, so there’s no other bread products I can eat. Poor me.

Since I switched over, the polyphasic sleep schedule has been going WAY better. The difference is day and night (my god, I’m funny). In the past 7 days I’ve overslept by maybe 4 hours total, less if I get credit for missed naps. Even more significant, I feel great the whole time. Right now it’s 4:33am and I feel like I could play a full 5 round curling match.

When Hayden and I did his school project on raw foods, we wanted to make some really impressive recipes. He got a bunch of books at Barnes and Noble, but the REAL standout was Raw Food/Real World : 100 Recipes to Get the Glow.

The reason this book rocks my palette is because, first of all, it’s very practical. The authors eat a couple questionable ingredients because they add a lot and are in such small quantity that they don’t really affect anything. They say also that if they’re on a trip to Italy they’ll eat traditional Italian food, even though at home they eat 100% raw. Also, they were both chefs with a real passion for normal food, and they converted. I was also an amateur chef, so I could relate to that.

But the best thing is the recipes. What they are able to make with only raw food is absolutely amazing. The chocolate pudding (no cooking / artificial sugar, remember) was awesome, but the ice cream steals the show. That’s right… HEALTHY ice cream. They literally eat this stuff for breakfast. Keep in mind that the book is packed with pictures of these people, and they look really young and healthy even though they’re around 40. Even if you’re not into raw food and don’t want to buy the book, use Amazon’s book searching feature, find the recipe, and try it out. I like to add banana to it to make some banana ice cream.

Tonight I went to a restaurant called Cosmic Cafe. Inspired by the book, I decided to have a new policy of eating normally when I’m out. There’s nothing more annoying than the guy who is like, “I’ll have the chicken sandwich with no bread, no mayo, no bread, and extra lettuce.” After an inordinate period of deliberation, I finally settled on the wheat crust eggplant pizza. Sounds reasonbly healthy, right?

This thing was loaded with cheese. I ate it anyway, and immediately felt crappy. Then I went home and overslept through 3 alarms (90 minute oversleep, longest since going raw) and felt awful. When I finally woke up, still tired, I started cramming my craw with all the raw food I could find, hoping to push that eggplant junk out of my system.

The next nap went famously, featuring a super realistic dream involving the following :

  • a small wooden boat
  • Julie from the Pickup Artist story
  • A weird pickup artist guy
  • A creepy target employee who followed us all around

Good times, as usual. Ok, it’s time for a nap, and then I might write another update. The bus story is neglected.

Valentine’s Day News

I don’t really like writing short updates, but there are too many little things going on to write separate posts.

First, I’ve designed some cool t-shirts, hats, and other items to facilitate displaying of BtyB pride. Even if you don’t have BtyB pride yet, the designs are cool enough that you’ll want to wear them anyway. To check it out, visit the Better Than Your Boyfriend Store .

Want to support the site, but would rather get paid for doing so? I used to be professional gambler, earning the bulk of my income from online casinos for six years. I will soon write a whole story about that. The casino I got started at is called Casino-on-Net. I have a deal with them where anyone signing up with them through my site will get $200 for free!

I’ve played at hundreds of casinos online and on land, and many of them are rigged, shady, or will just run with your money. The most honest and fair casino I’ve ever played at is Casino-on-Net. I have never had a bad experience with them, and neither have any of the dozens of gambling friends I have. Anyone who signs up through my web site to get $200 for free (and yes, you will really get it) will also be supporting Better than your Boyfriend, as Casino-on-Net pays me a commission.

One last way you can help me help you is by checking out my diet book that I wrote (under a pen name). It’s called The Skinny Snob and I’m really proud of it. I spent a ton of time learning about diet and nutrition, and this is the sum of my knowledge, laid out in a very easy to follow plan. If you follow it and have bought a T-shirt, when you need a smaller size, it’s on me!

If you want to keep love and money separate, that’s cool too. A link to my site from your blog, forum, or web site is very valuable to me. Thanks a lot to everyone who has already linked to me and helped this site grow!

As you may have noticed from the ever growing comment section, I have received tons of publicity recently. This means more people visiting BtyB, which is fantastic. The bigger we get, the easier it is for me to afford to spend time writing up even more great stories. Also, soon we will be big enough that companies will sponsor contests. I plan on spending a lot of time getting cool prizes for monthly giveaways for you guys.

I also have some exciting news about Polyphasic sleep, but I want to wait a few more days to make sure it’s solid before I share it with you guys.

Here’s a rough plan of what to expect from Better than your Boyfriend in the near future :

- The conclusion of the popular How I Became a Famous Pickup Artist series.

- An in depth story about the six months I lived with famous rock star Courtney Love

- A 45 (ok, maybe more) day review on my progress with 2006 Goals

- The next part in the The Great American School Bus Conversion story

- More rap songs!

- My own holiday starting this year that will CHANGE THE WORLD!

- The best way to make your computer super cool looking

- How to always be happy (really!)

- Who knows what else I’ll get into and write about…

Anyways… stay tuned. I’m having a great time writing these articles, and I have a ton more that I’m dying to write about. I take a lot of time writing them, so please be patient. Thanks again for being part of this site!

Going Raw

I used to walk into McDonalds and often times I wouldn’t be charged for my food. Why? Because I went there so frequently and brought so many friends, that they knew I was good for business. My favorite meal was the Fishwich, a mighty sandwich made with a bun, american cheese, a deep fried fish patty, and a generous portion of tartar sauce. To fully sate my appetite I always supersized.

My parents had always encouraged me to eat healthy. I just didn’t see the point. I felt good, I wasn’t fat, and I never got sick. Why fix what isn’t broken? I was thankful for my good metabolism and assumed that eating healthy was for people who didn’t have it so good.

Then a couple years ago I watched Super Size Me. I watched it for entertainment, but it was the first time I began to believe that what I ate actually mattered. If you haven’t seen the movie, I highly recommend it. When subjected to a McDonalds only diet, the creator became depressed, lethargic, and generally didn’t feel too well. That was the day I stopped eating fast food.

It was a step in the right direction, but for almost a year I didn’t take it any further. I was still eating pizza, deep fried food, sugary items, and other health bombs.

My favorite way to travel, as I’ll probably write about in the future, is by cruises. I love getting to see a lot of different places at once without having to move my stuff, I love life aboard the ship, and I like the isolation from cell phones and computers. But most of all, I liked the food. When cruising you are barraged by meals throughout the day, and they’re all fantastic. The meals are gourmet, and thus, rather unhealthy.

I went on a cruise with my friend Hayden and a couple others. Hayden was reading a book called Fantastic Voyage : Live Long Enough to Live Forever written by Ray Kurzweil. It was a radical book filled with blasphemous ideas like “sugar will kill you” and “so will flour”. I made fun of him and ordered huge plates of bacon on a daily basis.

After the cruise I went to Massachusetts to visit my family. I won’t say that it’s boring there, but there is a lot of time to sit around, read, and play cards. My grandmother is very health oriented and is in her late 70s, so I bought her a copy of the book, thinking it may benefit her. Really, it was a selfish move. I really love her and don’t want her going anywhere.

One lazy day I picked up the book and started reading. I couldn’t stop. By the time I had finished I realized that I could never eat poorly again. I did even more research on the internet and completely changed my diet. I estimate that 95% of the foods I used to eat were been eliminated, and many of my new staples were foods I didn’t even like before. White flour, and later wheat flour, were completely cut out along with sugars of any sort.

I stuck to the diet for about a month before I started noticing changes. My body fat percentage had gone from 16% to 9%, and it showed. I had moderate acne that would never go away, and all of a sudden it had vanished. Several people told me I looked better than I ever had before. I noticed that I could taste flavors I had been previously unaware of in everyday foods.

I stuck with the diet for seven months, and even wrote a practical guide to eating healthy using a pseudonym.

After seven months I found myself in Vermont with my family on my dad’s side. The curious thing about them is that all of them always seem to have some illness. Serious ones too, like cancer and diabetes. My father was the only exception, and I could never understand why.

Well, it all made sense when I got there. None of the food they had was remotely healthy. I was forced to break my diet. And so, for the first time in seven months I ate pizza, had a croissant, and ate a caramel coated apple. What was interesting is that they were good, but not as good as I remembered. I didn’t miss them. In fact, after just two days eating that way I couldn’t wait to return home and eat healthy again. I had changed.

I really thought that I was eating as healthily as possible. I figured there was no way to improve my diet, and I was satisfied.

Then I learned about raw food dieting from my friend Elisia. A raw food diet means that no food consumed can be cooked over 118 degrees. That’s the temperature at which certain enzymes in the food break down, without which your body must produce enzymes. Wonder why you feel tired after a huge meal? It’s because your body is churning through its energy producing the enzymes to digest that meal.

I could go on with the theory of raw food, but I’m no expert yet, so I’ll spare you. It makes a lot of sense, though - our bodies are not evolutionarily designed to eat cooked foods. Sure, they adapt. But then again, a diesel engine will run on regular gasoline as well - just not at peak efficiency.

Unfortunately, I stocked up on food right before learning about this, so I have about 10 boxes of cereal, 2 gallons of soy milk, 6 things of jelly, 4-5 loaves of wheat-free bread, and a bunch of other supplies. I don’t want to waste the money spent on them, so I’m going to finish eating them, but only purchase raw food from now on. That includes food eaten at restaurants, too.

Today I went to Whole Foods, my favorite store, and bought a bunch of raw foods. It was actually pretty fun. I’ve also signed up with an organic delivery service that brings fresh vegetables to my doorstep every friday.

I’ll keep you guys updated with my progress and let you know whether or not it’s worth doing. If you’re just now starting to eat healthy, definitely read the book I mentioned earlier in the article. It will give you a good background on WHY it’s important to eat certain things and avoid others.

Scariest Thing Ever

I quickly fell asleep for my polynap and drifted off into dreamland.

In my dream I was at a community college, waiting to speak to a counselor. I hadn’t put my name down on the list yet, so I was just mulling around the waiting room. I was feeling good because for some reason I knew this was my last semester and I was going to drop out. I was particularly looking forward to telling the counselor that I was dropping out.

While I was waiting, there were two other students I noticed. One guy had the exact same laptop as I. When he was done using it, he put it down on the desk in front of me. I thought that was strange, and wondered if perhaps it was actually my laptop. I couldn’t tell, and didn’t want to take it if it wasn’t mine.

Another student was in front of me. He turned around with a magic trick to show me. It was blantantly easy, but I appreciated his effort keeping me entertained.

Finally, in my dream, I became aware that I’d been sleeping for a while. This actually happens frequently while I polynap. I’m hoping it’s a precursor to full lucid dreaming. Then I heard my alarm, but only faintly. Strange.

I sit up in bed and I realize that the power has gone out. When that happens, my alarm is much quieter. The brains behind the alarm is the laptop, and it’s connected to the speakers. When the speakers go through a power outage, they reset to a lower volume, while the laptop stays on.

All of the lights in my house are automated, so each light switch has a little LED that stays illuminated when they’re off. I walk into my office and it occurs to me that it should probably be light in there. I recently plugged a lamp straight into the wall, outside of the automation system. But it wasn’t on.

Click. Click. Click. I turn the knob for the lamp, but it won’t turn on. I hit the switch in the office - it does nothing either. I start to panic a little bit - something is up. As I walk into the living room out of the corner of my eye I see what appears to be someone sitting in a chair in the breakfast area.

I hit the switch in the living room. Nothing.

I turn to assure myself that no one is in my house, but to my surprise there IS someone sitting at the table. Is it one of my friends?

“Well HELLOOOOOO…. TYNAN.” I can only describe the voice as “I’m about to be murdered”. It was still dark so I couldn’t make out who it was, but I was terrified. It wasn’t one of my friends. My adrenaline shot up and blood rushed through my veins. Because I’d just woken up my eyes were blurry, so my efforts to determine who was there were unsuccessful.

Then somehow I realized that I might still be sleeping, and this could be a dream within a dream. I tried to wake up, but couldn’t. I tried to move, but couldn’t. I tried to yell “help!”, but couldn’t get it out. Full on sleep paralysis. I kept struggling and eventually my brain snapped out of it and I came to. It was 5:30 in the afternoon and sun was shining through my windows onto my bed.

I’ve had MANY of these sorts of experiences since going polyphasic - particularly sleep paralysis and intense dreams. Most of my dreams are very pleasant, but I have had 3-4 nightmares now. Before this I very rarely had a nightmare.

It may not sound like it, but these experiences are actually fun. Being under sleep paralysis is very strange… you’re conscious but you just can’t move anything. It almost feels like your arms and legs have been cut off. It’s such an unusual phenomenon that I enjoy exploring it. Thank god no one is here to murder me.

“But I Love My Sleep!”

Alright, rocketeers… this post is on a subject that’s near and dear to my heart.

Whenever people hear about the polyphasic sleep schedule, they come up with reasons they couldn’t do it. I don’t know why… It’s really awesome and everyone should want to do it. By far the most common excuse is :

“But I love my sleep. I would never want to give it up.”

I’d say that 80% of people come up with som variation on this. Now, there are some valid reasons people shouldn’t do this. Like… if you were a race car driver who had to race nonstop for 8 hours at a time. If someone told me that, I would agree they shouldn’t do it. I’m sure there are other valid reasons too, but I can’t think of them right now.

But this one, the prince of polyphasic criticisms, is totally bogus. Here’s why :

First of all, I LOVE sleep. More than you. More than him. More than her. Even more than yo’ mammy. Let’s keep in mind that before going polyphasic I was averaging somewhere in the ballpark of 8-10 hours. My signature move was the wakeup / eat breakfast / go back to sleep combo. So don’t get all up in my grille acting like I don’t like sleep.

But the fact is that because I love sleep so much, I will never get off the polyphasic schedule. Why, praytell? Because it’s MUCH better sleep than peon sleep.

In peon sleep, the whole night is a blur. Sometimes you dream, sometimes you don’t. Polyphasic sleep delivers hard hitting dreams almost every time, coupled with the deepest sleep I’ve ever encountered. Are you a glutton for sleep? No problem - polyphasic sleep FEELS longer. In fact, each nap feels like 2-4 hours, depending on how deep you go. That’s 12-24 hours of virtual sleep per day. Order now!

Also… what do people really like about sleep? Is it that they enjoy being unconcious for 8 hours and missing out on the wonderful things the world has to offer them? No. The pleasant parts of sleep are the falling asleep and the dreams.

Well guess what, champs? I get to do that 6 times a day. I never have to go more than 3.5 hours without feeling the warm caress of the sleep fairy.

Now, there are a lot of other reasons that polyphasic sleeping (and, incidentally, those who practice it) is far superior to the alternative. I could go on and on, but this one point is one that really bugs me. And now… I’m off to enjoy my polyphasic day. And by that I mean slave over this keyboard to entertain people like you.