My biggest criticism with personal development, self improvement, or whatever you want to call it, is that a lot of it is theoretical or has little effect on your life NOW. Of course, most people become interested in personal development because of problems they’re facing immediately, which creates a perfect setup for disappointment.

Thinking back on the different areas in which I’ve directed my efforts, here is a short list of some of the most effective ones which got results quickly (in no particular order):

1. Buy and read the book Fantastic Voyage : Live Long Enough to Live Forever. It’s a fascinating read and will give you a deep and valuable understanding of your body, nutrition, and food. When I read it I did so because I was bored, even though I had no particular interest in health or diet. Reading it instantly changed the way I see a lot of things.

2. Open up a new bank account and religiously deposit 10-15% of your after tax income into it every month. This is money that you will NEVER SPEND for your entire life. As it grows you earn interest, and spend that (or add it to this same account). Once you have a significant amount of money, you can then invest it in something reliable like an index fund. You are allowed to use it as a down payment for a house.

3. Go through your house with a trash bag and throw away everything you don’t need. You will immediately feel happier, less stressed, and more motivated to work on other projects. (be sure to look in cabinets, the fridge, and your desk - you will probably need more than one bag)

4. Get in the habit of taking a walk every day. Taking walks is surprisingly therapeutic (I do it every time I have a big decision to make, or feel stressed) and is also really good for your cardiovascular system. If you can do it during the day, that’s even better. A moderate amount of sun is the best way to get Vitamin D and a healthy looking tan to make the ladies (and boys) swoon.

5. Starting at the top of the list, make a decision on one person in your phone every day. They either get a phone call or deleted. You might feel weird calling people you haven’t talked to in a while, but think of how you would feel if they called just to see how you were doing. You’d probably feel really good that you were being thought about. During this process you’ll also find people you’ll never talk to again. Deleting their number will save time and effort when scrolling through your phone book.

6. Similar to #3, go through your closet and either pack up (to be lost in the attic forever), throw away, or donate any clothes you haven’t worn in the past 30 days. (Exceptions are seasonal items [can't you just pack those?] or things like a suit or party dress that doesn’t expect frequent use.)

7. Go shopping and buy enough of the following items to last at least 6 months :

• toothpaste
• paper towels
• toilet paper (try moistened towelettes! they’re way better)
• soap
• detergent for clothes and dishes
• plastic bags (zip lock and trash)

If you can think of any other items where a) the price isn’t going to change drastically b) your preference probably won’t change c) the shelf life is very long, then stock up on those too. Look! You’ve just eliminated a serious chunk of your todo list and mindless errands for the next six months!

8. If you’re disorganized, get and read Getting Things Done : The Art of Stress-Free Productivity. It will have you organized with a gameplan for staying organized easily within 1-3 days. If you’re already organized, then you can just take a second and gloat.

9. Find the most expensive item you have that you don’t use anymore and sell it on ebay. It will take you 10 minutes at most, plus another 30 minutes to ship (while you’re at the post ofice, get 100 2 cent stamps and never worry about that again). Alternatively, just send it to me as a present.

10. Show this page to your friends! Helping out other people makes you feel better, and working on some of these things with your friends will make them more fun.

Don’t just read this list and think “that’s a good idea”. Do it now! If you’re at work, then order the books, take a break and make your first phone call while you take a walk.

I tried to fairly evenly distribute the focus between the three areas of Health, Wealth, and Relationships. Relationships has the least focus because improving your health and wealth will likely improve relationships as well. If you could use some extra help with meeting women or being attractive to them, check out my book called Make Her Chase You. I am a world famous pickup artist who has learned from the best ladies’ men in the world, and I’ve condensed all of my knowledge into one awesome book.

Of course if you’re a lovely lady and you’re looking to improve your relationships, just e-mail me…

So… I have a problem. I was thinking today and I realized that I am in front of my computer WAY more than I should be. This occured to me when I woke up from one of my naps and made a beeline for the computer. I then realized that I repeat this behaviour every single time I wake up!

Further, there’s no reason for me to be in front of this giant box ‘o fun. Well, right now there is because I’m writing a post, but for most of the day I DEFAULT to sitting in front of the computer. I scan through the 30 or so sites I have on my toolbar, even though most of them only update once or twice a day at most.

This is sick! Think about it - none of my interesting stories start of with “So, I sat in front of the computer all day…”. Every hour I spend in front of this thing is an hour that my life is NOT getting more interesting. I spend a lot of time online chatting with my friends, which I enjoy, but is that really the best use of my time? Probably not.

What’s worse is that it FEELS like an addiction. I’ll think “I should clean my kitchen.” and then I’ll play freecell. Freecell! As if playing freecell could possibly contribute anything valuable to my life. I routinely shirk other duties to waste time at the computer.

The weak justification I rattle around in my brain is that I use the computer to make my income. Fine. If I was using it to make money even 75% of the time I was in front of it, I would be eating gold covered diamonds onboard a submarine in the pacific.

I’ve often told people that I was going to take up smoking for a month just to quit it and prove that it was easy. But if I kick the computer addiction, that’s MUCH more meaningful, because it’s actually something I’m addicted to, rather than a contrived publicity stunt.

So what’s the plan?

I don’t really have one yet. Let’s work this out.

If I was at the computer for 2 hours a day, that would be more than enough for me to do everything I need to do. Realistically, it would be ideal for me to be monitoring it more frequently, but I’d rather start out at an extreme, and then add some time back in. So that’s easy - I’ll keep a stopwatch near the computer, reset it every day at midnight, and allow myself no more time than 2 hours per day.

The more grey area is my phone. It’s a Treo 650, which is a palm pilot and a phone all smooshed into one. Browsing the web is slow enough that I won’t waste my time, but IMing could become a problem. Actually, my IM program for it is super flaky, so maybe that won’t be a problem. Also, typing on it is somewhat annoying, so I may not be too inclined to use it.

The only exception I’m going to allow is for projects which require the computer. I have a system of 5 computers that are responsible for things in my house (lights, media, internet routing, etc), so obviously those will stay on. One project I”m going to work on is reprogramming some of my lights, which will require I use my laptop to look up stuff. As long as IM and the web browser remain closed, I’ll allow it. Oh… and Freecell will stay closed too.

Now - all that remains to do is to shut this bad boy off. I will report back on how it feels to be free of my computer addiction.

Seriously. I’m gonna do it. You dont’ have to keep reading.

Ok, fine.

This is going to be the first article in a brand new category called “Social Skills” added to my seemingly-random category list. This series is especially for you pick up people out there. In my time teaching, I always had a good feeling for who would be successful and who would not be, way before we ever went out.

The reason was that some people had blatantly bad social skills. Face it - if you can’t interact with GUYS properly, you’re starting with girls with a major handicap. So here we’re going to talk about everything from e-mail to gift giving. What’s first on our radar? Being late. Read on…

Some people are notoriously late for everything. I used to be one of those people myself. But over time it annoyed me when people were late so much that I put in the work and changed that habit. That’s not to say that I’m ALWAYS on time. Sometimes it’s better to be a little late, and sometimes there are unforseen circumstances. But make no mistake - everyone notices how timely everyone else is, and this can be used to your advantage. Here’s a list of common situations, and how prompt to be for each.

• A Business Meeting (meeting with customers) - 5 minutes early : When meeting with potential clients, ALWAYS be there before they get there. Your business role is subservient to them, and that should be reflected in your promptness. You are there before they are, which indicates that you can be counted on.
• A Business Meeting (meeting with a partner) - On time / 5 minutes late : Meeting with a business partner, or potential partner, is a different story. If you have an established relationship be on time. There’s no need to get there earlier, because you are equals. Arriving late in most cases is a display of disrespect, which can cause problems in the partnership. The only time I’d recommend being late is if you are going to be negotiating with your partner. A good 5 minute delay with no apology or explanation subtley conveys that you are the dominant partner, which sets you up to end up on top in negotiations. Ten minutes late would be pushing it, and any later is just disrespectful.
• Meeting with friends - On time : There’s no need to get fancy with your friends. By showing respect to your friends, you will receive respect back as well. Show up on time so that your friends know they can count on you. There’s nothing more annoying than 5 friends meeting at a restaurant and having two people wait for the others to trickle in. Being early is better than being late here, but simply being on time is good enough. If you have a reputation for being late amongst your friends, you WILL miss invitations to last minute gatherings and people will be talking about how late you are.
• Receiving a favor - 10 minutes early : I don’t care how the person doing you a favor is related to you. Always be early. No one likes doing favors which aren’t appreciated, but by being ready 10 minutes early, you show that you appreciate the favor so much that you are willing to inconvenience yourself to minimize the impact it has on your friend’s schedule. This also applies to things like getting rides from your friends. Be ready 10 minutes early, just in case their watch is off, and maybe even wait outside if it’s a particularly inconvenient time for them. Being late for a favor will surely result in resentment and fewer favors in the future.
• First date - 5-15 minutes late : I have the feeling some of the lady types and wussy men out there will object to this one - too bad. Showing up early to a first date is a terrible idea. It shows that you are too eager and are working too hard to impress your date. Being on time is fine, but it’s not worth chancing that you will be interpreted as being early if her watch is off. A good 5-10 minute tardiness will convey exactly what you want. Busy, but not disrespectful. Happy to spend time with her, but not desperate for it. Being late also provides the added bonus of possibly making her wonder if she’s going to be stood up. No one likes being stood up, so when you show up 10 minutes later, she will be relieved and already be glad to be going out with you. However, once you are dating regularly, just be on time or 5 minutes late. No need to overdo it.
• A Party - As late as you want* : It’s true that you should arrive “fashionably late”. When parties first start, they are boring and awkward. Why associate yourself with that? It’s much better to be the guy (or lady) who comes a bit later right as things start to pick up. Your delay can vary based on the party length and it’s constituents. A 2-3 hour barbecue with friends only calls for a 15 minute tardiness. An all night party with relative strangers could mean that you’re 2 hours late. Don’t worry to much about when you get there, just take your time and arrive in style. * The only time you should be early or on time at worst is when your friend is throwing the party. Help him get it started before all you other jerks arrive late.
• Going to a movie - 17 minutes late : This one is optional, but I personally like being 17 minutes late. On average a movie has 17 minutes of previews, which I personally hate watching. Once in a while you’ll miss a few minutes of a movie, but who cares? Most movies are awful anyway, and by the end you will forget that you missed the beginning.
• Hanging out with Tynan - 5 minutes early : Hey! I taught you all this stuff… don’t make ME wait!

There you have it - a complete guide to promptness and lack thereof. When in doubt, though, just be on time. If you are chronically late, you will almost certainly be less respected by those around you, so this is an important change to make. If you have that problem, then start off by leaving 15 minutes early for everything and being early for everything. Once you get a handle on that, you can start getting fancy by following my guidelines above.