Hi! My Name is Tynan...

I'm an egomaniac vegan pickup artist who sold everything and is traveling around the world. I generally do whatever I want whenever I want, even when I'm pretty sure it's a bad idea. I like singing gangsta rap, writing, working out, working on my business, traveling, and finding adventure. I always wear a sequinned hat with stars on it.

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Color Guard

High school is nearing its final semester and I need a P.E. credit. Actually I need two P.E. credits. If you’ve ever taken the time to admire my physique, it may surprise you to hear that my high school career is lacking in the Physical Education department. Suspend your disbelief for a moment.

I sign up for bowling by correspondence. It sounds easy and I like bowing. One down, one to go.

“Just take color guard!”

Kerry’s an attractive friend of mine who is dating one of my best friends. I consider that to be unfortunate for me, although I don’t exactly have the confidence yet to get a girl like that. More on topic, she is in color guard, and a big fan of it.

I’m not an expert, but I remember seeing color guard on the field during football games. They twirl flags and march. I could do that. It really only comes down to one statistic, though :

Thirty girls. One guy.

I agree to do color guard. I don’t have much choice. My first warning that this may be a bad idea comes quickly. A mischeivious smile finds its way to Kerry’s face and she giggles.

Color guard’s first meeting is after school that day. Mr. Brownlee talks about our costumes for the show as well as our flags. Costumes. I hadn’t thought of that.

By the end of the lecture I find myself emotionally invested in the color of the new flags.

We line up single file and are each handed a small package.

A small package of tights.

It’s then explained to me that color guard in the winter isn’t marching and flag twirling. It’s DANCING and flag twirling. I’m in trouble.

Worse, my tights aren’t even male tights… they’re grl tights. For some reason they make my legs cold when I wear them. They look fabulous with my jazz shoes, though.

As the color guard season progresses, I get into it. The girls are great and I love the flag twirling, especially the tosses. Even the dramatic dance moves we perform sans flag are kinda fun. The song chosen for our routine is Jewel - Foolish Games.

We turn out to be a pretty good team and do very well. At the end of the season I wish there was more to it. I don’t even mind waking up at 6am for practice anymore.

I was the first guy to ever join colorguard in the winter, but I’m told that since then there’s been a guy in it every semester. I’m a trendsetter.

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18 Responses to “Color Guard”

  1. FuturePast Says:

    Got any photos? :)

  2. jlaix Says:

    fag.

    -jlaix

  3. Bender.PUA Says:

    Im am on the floor and on my skinny knees stretching in a gayish kinda position and out throught the glass door I can see a guy that walked out of a gym, muscless poping, chisled body. He looks at the mirror in a hallway and smiles like “This body will get me chicks”, he is passing by the door and looks at me with a look “What a nerd, is that aerobic?”. Finnally he looks at the rest of the room (dance room) filled with 30 go-go dancers on theyr knees, in thights, streching theyr ass muscless. In disbelief looks at me, and im smiling for it is among the best moments of my life :))))

  4. Austin Says:

    When that genie gets around to paying me a visit, one of my wishes will be never to hear Foolish Games again. Ever.

  5. Kristen Says:

    Mr Brownlee told our percussion that they sounded like the “Tidy Bowl Toilet Cleaner” mascot when they played. After some very necessary investigation, I found out the Tidy Bowl mascot is a tiny sailor that rides a little boat around in your comode. His boat has a tiny bell,too, and apparently it sounds just like Morgan Srubar on the triangle.

    ding ding!

  6. Becca Says:

    I think it’s great that you were secure enough in yourself to participate in what is generally accepted or stereotyped as a “girl’s sport!” I could use some help, actually a lot of it. I’m going to start teaching winter guard from a studio at my house. I’m in the middle of recruiting now for the classes but I could use choreography pointers. If interested e-mail me back.

  7. Lizzie Stephens Says:

    I am a girl and Im in colorguard at boiling Springs high school and I think it is great that you joined the colorguard! I would love it if we had guys on our team but to many of them are worried about what otherpeople will think if the whole marching band see’s them in a colorguard uniform twirling a flag!!!!!!!!!! Stupid right, I went to a compitition the other day and say tons of guys in the winterguard and some of them were better than the girls, thats a big surprise. email me back cya ;)

  8. Mrs. Osgood Says:

    I just happened to run acroos your post doing a winterguard search in google. I am a guard instructor in our school and I want to say “Good for You!” for being the first guy in your guard. We have had guys the last four years in our group and this year I had a guy who is doing his first year of guard and can throw 8 rotations on a rifle, go figure. I love my guys, they aren’t afraid of the major tosses and they practice twice as much as my girls………..You did a good thing! “Big pat on the back”

  9. Sj! Says:

    so pretty much boys in colorguard are amazing. at my high school we have a lot of boys. like seven. and actually they are mostly stright. and if you have ever looked at like northern lights, yeah all male, and they are pretty much amazing but they folded(sad :(!) but yeah we have a boy that marched drum corp and he can throw a six on rifle and catch behind his back. but anyways boys in guard are pretty much amazing!!!! Get It! *snap snap*

  10. steven hills Says:

    thats cool im a guy in guard and i love it!!! it is my life and im way better then the girls. keep working hard and you will be able to do amazing things!!!!! GO GUARD!!!!!

  11. Sara Says:

    Well when we were at color guard practice this dude aka my ex boyfriend came by and was like “why are you in this you are to hot.” and i said that he was stupid… But everyone started to laugh at him because he had on his shirt backwords.

  12. Tehqueen Says:

    hehe, I couldn’t resist reading about it after being both amazed by your grace on the stilts and seeing your yearbook… wow, just… wow.

  13. williamjh90 Says:

    I get what you mean, I joined my guard (also the first male guard) at the request of my georgeous friend, Jessy. But after a month i forgot they were girls and they became my best friends. This year I’m going from newbie to Co-Captain in my guard. The problem is that i’m graduating next year, any suggestions for attracting more male guard?

  14. Sean Says:

    Hey my name is Sean, I was also the first guy to join guard at my school. kinda got in the same way(was asked my a girl), but i made them promise me id never have to dance. now I love it, been dancing and spinning for 7 years now. mainly ryfle and sabre! im good on flag but its not as fun! I think its awsome you joined your team. it takes guts. it took my girls almost the entire year to convince me to join especially with me being on the football team and baseball team, it wasnt very accepted. but yeah i say you keep working hard and youd be surprised were guard can take you.

  15. http://romantic-christmas-gifts-for-him14697.blogspot.com Says:

    http://romantic-christmas-gifts-for-him14697.blogspot.com...

    To love what you do and feel that it matters - how could anything be more fun?…

  16. Matt Says:

    I think you’ve convinced me to join guard. I’m a guy whos been thinking about it. I march bass clarinet in the band and I saw the guard and was mezmarized! If I join I’ll will be the first male guard member in my school’s history. =)

  17. Mary Catherine Says:

    Hi. would you please delete the comment written on 8/12/06 by kristen with morgan’s name in it? along with this comment as well. i don’t think she would like her name to be on here. thanks

  18. AlexM Says:

    I found your site on technorati and read a few of your other posts. Keep up the good work. I just added your RSS feed to my Google News Reader. Looking forward to reading more from you down the road!

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