How to Survive Waterboarding
First, a couple blog notes. I haven’t been posting as much because my free time has been filled with writing my new book. More info and the cover are in the forums. Also, lots of people have been linking to me recently. I really appreciate it!
Ahem… waterboarding.
For those who don’t know, waterboarding is a controversial subject these days. It’s an torture method which is used to interrogate suspects and designed to simulate drowning. Supposedly it’s so bad that the average marine can only handle it for 15 seconds.
It’s done by having the detainee lie on his back with his head lower than his body. A rag is then stretched across his face and water is poured on it. If you’re anything like me, you’re thinking “What? How bad could that be? 15 seconds? These marines are sisses.”
If you’re exactly like me, then you decided to test it. A couple friends came over and we set up a piece of plywood in a declined position. To add to the effect we added some ropes to tie down the victim’s hands. I was dying to go first.
I lay down and got my hands tied. The rag was pulled across my face and cold water was poured from a bucket. It was a lot worse than I thought.
What happens is water seeps through the cloth and runs down the nostrils straight into the sinuses. Nothing you can do will stop this. The effect of having ones sinuses fill with water triggers that “Holy god I’m drowning” reaction that causes panic. After 15 seconds or so I tapped out and they removed the rag. I pushed the water out of my sinuses and waited for my turn again.
My two friends went and lasted similar times. It was harder than we thought - unpleasant but not painful. It was getting cold, but I tried again. This time I tried methods to breathe that didn’t work, but I did notice something. When my sinuses completely filled with water, the drowning sensation ceased to get worse. I can hold my breath for 3 minutes on a good day, so all I’d have to do was put up with the weird water in the sinus feeling.
My last try lasted over 20 seconds and was cut short by the bucket running out of water. Just knowing that it was going to be ok once my sinuses filled made it much easier. I wanted to try again but I was full of water and it was getting cold.
If I ever get taken hostage my plan is to flail after 10 seconds so that they think I hate it (even though I don’t), and hopefully they will let me out before it really becomes a problem. Just practicing a few times really made it a bearable torture. Here are some videos :
In the first one it’s easier to see what’s going on. In the second one I last a bit longer.
Oh, and in case you’re trying this at home - for three days when I sneezed it smelled like tap water, and I got a wicked fever a couple nights after.
(1 votes, average: 5 out of 5)
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January 16th, 2007 at 5:39 am
Sometimes I think there’s something seriously wrong with you.
January 16th, 2007 at 1:05 pm
My phone rings. It’s Tynan
Me: Hey sweetie.
Tynan: Hey! Jonah and Bob are coming over and we’re gonna waterboard each other. Wanna watch?
Me: That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. No. This is the fundamental difference between women and men. No woman would possibly think this is a good idea.
At this point I walk into my my sister’s room and explain the situation to her. Babycakes thinks this also crazy.
Babycakes: Tynan, why don’t you just try drugs? They kill fewer brain cells and they’re a lot more fun.
January 16th, 2007 at 7:31 pm
I wonder why the average marine doesn’t know about that trick. Maybe it’s the psychological fear tactic to tell everybody “even hardened MARINES only last 15 seconds”
It’s awesome that when you’re curious about something (even something traumatic), you’ll put yourself through that situation to experience what it’s like.
Please don’t get curious about anything which automatically results in fatality. I like reading your stories too much.
January 17th, 2007 at 9:39 pm
Somehow I doubt that whomever our government employs to torture people with this method will fall for the flail-and-hold-your-breath trick. Anyway, torture is sick.
January 18th, 2007 at 11:01 am
I dunno about it being the fundamental difference between men and women. When I told my sister about it, she was like “Aw man, I wish I could have tried that.”
January 18th, 2007 at 2:19 pm
haha this is nuts.
BTW, Have you ever heard of a citizen’s arrest?
January 29th, 2007 at 6:16 pm
Wow you are one brave, brave guy.
Now I wanna try this.
Too bad my friends arent crazy enough to try it with me
Hell I dont even have freinds crazy enough to help me try it lol.
May 23rd, 2007 at 7:30 pm
For practice, hit up a Walgreens and grab some Sinucleanse. You can barely feel the water when the water’s lukewarm (RO-filtered helps) & there’s some pure salt mixed in.
Ironically, doing this prevents getting sick by flushing the nasal sinuses; nose bugs don’t like saltwater.
May 23rd, 2007 at 9:09 pm
wonderful! has anyone suggested this to rush limbaugh? love to hear his reaction. nah, i forgot about that boil on his backside (hey-it kept him out of vietnam.)
May 23rd, 2007 at 9:47 pm
If you’re an eccentric gay vegan why are you trying to pick up women?
May 23rd, 2007 at 9:58 pm
My husband was a POW in Vietnam, tortured by his North Vietnamese captors. He suffered from his injuries for over thirty years, until his fatal heart attack 23 months ago.
The vital part of torture that you are missing is the complete lack of control. You had the ability to tell your friends to stop and they would. Real torturers don’t! Torture affects not just the tortured but the torturers, for the rest of their lives.
Torture is ALWAYS wrong, no matter who is doing it to whom.
For Dan,
Heather
May 24th, 2007 at 12:22 am
I’m not gay. I just wear a sparkly hat.
Tynan
May 24th, 2007 at 2:36 am
Those last two comments was the perfect capper to this thread…especially considering i linked from Andrew Sullivan
May 24th, 2007 at 6:24 am
Another thing that you probably have to think about is that it’s a lot different being waterboarded by friends than being captured and being waterboarded by members of the government. It might be a bit tougher to concentrate.
May 24th, 2007 at 11:05 am
In all seriousness, while I admire your courage to submit yourself to such an ordeal, this really doesn’t offer anything substantiative to the debate on the use of this and other torture techniques. Given that you know the technique, know the outcome, and know the people involved, you have removed all of the psychological elements of torture from the equation.
I just hope this isn’t used as an example for the pro-torture throng to show how waterboarding is more like an intense water balloon fight, than a Khmer Rouge/Gulag technique….just like those frat house pranks at Abu Ghraib.
May 24th, 2007 at 2:51 pm
“After 15 seconds or so I tapped out and they removed the rag. I pushed the water out of my sinuses and waited for my turn again.
My last try lasted over 20 seconds and was cut short by the bucket running out of water. Just knowing that it was going to be ok once my sinuses filled made it much easier. I wanted to try again but I was full of water and it was getting cold.”
Exactly how it happens in Gitmo, I’m sure.
May 25th, 2007 at 8:47 am
Dude, who’d a thunk it?
Waterboarding, ironically, seems to be catching on as the new teen craze!
How phat! Keep it on the low-down, or down-low, whatever.
May 25th, 2007 at 11:33 am
it’s not at all of any value since you can end it whenever you’d like and you have the assistance you need just in case.
November 13th, 2007 at 8:02 am
I just found a blog that links to secret amazon.com web pages
Enter the Secret Amazon Web Pages:
http://bargains-hunter.blogspot.com/2007/10/how-to-find-bargains-at-amazons-secret.html
Bargains Hunter
This is where you’re going to find the “latest sales, rebates, and limited-time offers” from
Amazon, and you can score some pretty deep discounts if you’re a savvy shopper.
Next, there’s the special Sale link. This is open every Friday, and ONLY on Fridays.
You can find the same good discounts here as you would in hidden Deals, although some
Fridays you can really get lucky and make off like an Amazon bandit - I’ve seen discounts
there as low as 75% off sticker price.