I Hate Birthdays
Continuing with the theme of weird things about me that could possibly point to some psychological conditions - I hate birthdays. Rest assured that it’s not my birthday. I wanted to write this on my birthday, but instead I waited some amount of time so that no one would know when it is.
Yeah, that’s right. I don’t tell people when my birthday is. My family knows, since they were intimately involved in the event we’re supposed to celebrate, but very few of my friends know. Kristen bribed me by making me a really cool clay rock for my fish tank, so I told her. The only two friends who called were Nicole and Nick, both of which I would have thought would never call. I’ve seen Nicole once in the past two years, and Nick has been in Pennsylvania for quite some time.
I don’t know exactly what it is about birthdays. I just don’t like people making a big deal out of it. I hate getting birthday presents (along with Christmas presents), and I hate it when people wish me a happy birthday. All these family members and Nick and Nicole called, and I ignored all of their calls. I didn’t call them back either.
What’s really peculiar is that I think that making a big deal out of me is a fantastic idea. If anyone wants to call me up today and tell me how glad they are that I’m alive, I fully support that. I would love to have that conversation with you. But if you call on my birthday I will probably ignore the call.
Part of it is the presents. The thought that somebody went out and bought me something out of obligation really kills me. I hate buying presents like that. If someone sees something that is great for me and buys it and gives it to me randomly, I am overjoyed. JLaix gave me a cool lighter from Spain and that made me happy. Acually, my friends and I give each other things pretty often and it’s a good thing. I just hate that obligation. I also never get people presents on their birthday because I feel like the whole transaction is insulting to everyone.
I’ve finally convinced everyone not to get me Christmas presents, so it’s now my favorite holiday. I love going to Boston and visiting my whole family and spending time with them. I even like the Yankee swap because it’s a game. But back when they used to get me presents I would sometimes sneak away to go upstairs and cry. I just felt awful that people bought me things.
Even this most recent birthday, I was depressed. I never get depressed. I moped around the house and didn’t do anything. At night I took a long walk around my neighborhood because that usually cheers me up. I couldn’t wait to go to sleep and have a new day.
It’s not that I don’t want to get older either. I’m 25 now, which means that I get to rent cars at a reasonable price. I don’t know how exciting that is or isn’t to everyone else, but I’m very excited about the whole thing.
Anyway, that’s enough of this rant. Hayden heard it all on the phone and suggested I write about it, which I thought was a good idea. The point is that if you know my birthday, then please act like you don’t when it comes around. If you don’t know, don’t try to find out. If you want to buy me a present, go for it, but don’t give me a birthday present. If you throw me a surprise party within two weeks of my birthday I will wrassle your livestock.
(1 votes, average: 4 out of 5)
Loading ...
May 18th, 2006 at 8:17 am
I’m right there with you on the presents thing. I’m not exactly without means, you know? If there’s something I want, I’ll go buy it myself. Therefore, anything you give me will either be something I already have, or something I don’t even want. I don’t particularly care for things I can’t use, so if it’s a gift that will just take up space, keep it to yourself.
That’s not the worst part. The worst part is trying to fake excitement in a present I really don’t care for. When I was a teenager, I wanted a keyboard really bad. I was specific, though: I don’t want this crappy keyboard with 496 crappy tones. I’d rather have a nice one with 8 nice instruments. Guess which one I got?
I’d rather get nothing than a bad present. I’m such a bad liar, everyone can tell when I don’t like it. And then the giver is resentful, like it’s *my* fault that they have crappy taste.
My mother is getting pretty good though. She’ll find things I don’t know I want. One year she gave me a really nice desk chair, when I had been using a cheap CostCo chair. It didn’t occur to me that a nice chair would matter all that much to me.
Even then, though, I’d prefer not to get it on a special occasion. You want to get me a present? Fine, but don’t wait for Christmas or my birthday or whatever. What message does waiting send? “I like you enough to get you this, but the holiday is more important.” The whole thing is ridiculous.
May 18th, 2006 at 8:44 am
I agree with both of you. In fact, I make a concious effort to not remember anyone’s birthday.
I don’t know when my parents were born, but I still call them so they don’t act upset. Of course, someone has to remind me.
I don’t get excited about Christmas or New Year’s or my own birthday. It’s just another day as far as I’m concerned. It seems so arbitrary based on the orbit of the earth and some dude who died 2000 years ago.
I think someone needs to throw Tynan an anti-surprise party. Get him all worked up on his birthday and drop hints that there’s going to be a party… Then let it all fizzle out when nothing happens
May 18th, 2006 at 10:16 am
My B way was last week, like you I ignore it and I teached my friends to act the same. So when I found out they had installed a 300 wat audio sistem in my car I was floored, great gift and totall suprise. What was awesome i sthat everyone contributed, and everyone cooperated to get my car 2 days before, to collect the money (they dont hawe much) and to install it. Best B day in my life cos I found out that they all card enough to cooperate and invest 2 days in it to make it work.
May 18th, 2006 at 12:18 pm
I was born Dec 23rd so my birthday is basically on Christmas. I hate birthdays because they are awkward. People sitting around all staring at me makes me feel weird. I finally got it so my birthday only lasts about 15 minutes.
As for people buying gifts… If they didnt want to buy something they wouldnt. Well If I dont want to buy something I dont. It isnt nice to be rude and ignore calls when they are trying to be nice and wish you a happy birthday.
Anyways, Happy Birthday Tynan… Whenever it was
May 18th, 2006 at 2:02 pm
I love birthdays, mine and other peoples.
I bet the only reason you hate birthdays is because you saw the episode of Blossom where she’s in a really bad mood but you don’t know why until the end and then you find out it’s her birthday and she hates getting older.
Or maybe you are Blossom. I used to have the biggest crush on her. Every so often I google Mayim Bialik and find out how she’s getting on.
My birthday is 29 October, in case you want to call me up. This puts it early in the university term (semester) here and in my first year lots of people came to my birthday who I didn’t know. In fact, my whole group of friends was different by the end of the year so I organised another birthday in April. I nearly got away with it, especially since there was another Magnus in our year group… but I was rumbled at the last minute.
I like to make my birthday last a good week. Because I have about fifty different groups of friends, it’s easy. So when I was working a 9-5 I’d have a Friday lunch with my colleagues, and I’ll have a sunday lunch with my family, a Friday night out with my community friends and a couple of nights out in the week with other groups of friends.
Maybe I’ll start celebrating half years too. My friend had a 10,000th day party recently.
May 18th, 2006 at 2:16 pm
I don’t advertise the birthdate, but neither am I upset if people want to celebrate it. I just downplay the importance by pointing out the arbitrariness of it. Last month I sarcastically told my friend, ‘Congratulations on your 23rd successful rotation around the sun! Woohoo!’
I usually buy books for birthdays. They’re inexpensive yet always make good gifts because of their remarkable shelf life.
Tynan, if you’re opposed to unchosen obligations, do you tip at restaurants? I tip because I’m a baller, but my grandfather was against it for similar reasons as your position against birthdays. Just curious.
May 18th, 2006 at 2:30 pm
I have amazing powers! One of which, happens to be the power to make your lips ooze truth! ie… dates and such.
Ew. I hate the word ooze. However, I love the word uzi. Which is what I threatened you with when demanding to know the date of your birth! *shooting noises*
Hey, what are we doing this weekend? I think we should go to the student directed Act One plays in the black box theater on Friday night! I guess I should call you later about it though, I just figured this way neither of us could forget.
May 18th, 2006 at 6:27 pm
Satanists regard one’s birthday as the most holy day of the year. Shemhemforash! Hail Satan!
-jlaix
May 19th, 2006 at 10:13 am
http://www.betterthanyourboyfriend.com/how-to-be-happy-always.htm
May 19th, 2006 at 11:20 am
Heh right on… Awesome link
May 29th, 2006 at 7:32 pm
I use my birthday as an excuse to gather up all my friends, get drunk, and cause havoc somewhere more upmarket than we usually do.
Something kooky to do, too, is put restrictions on what people are to give you for a birthday so people get creative. Last year I announced that all presents to be given to me -had- to be made and not bought, and I got some awesome random stuff. This years £1 present rule was okay too.
September 19th, 2006 at 11:24 pm
Do you hate birthdays? Then join this community…
http://www.orkut.com/Community.aspx?cmm=5208161
October 14th, 2007 at 3:56 pm
I am glad I am not the only one who hates birthdays! Its my eighteenth next month, and my family and friends can’t seem to understand why on earth I wouldn’t want to celebrate it, the idea seems foreign to them.
I refuse to give out my exact birthdate, rather saying, ” sometime in novemember”. I am not trying to appear mysterious in this at all, I just would like the day to pass. I don’t want any fuss, like others have said, where you have to smile warmily and lie through your teeth about how green spotty socks is Exactly what you wanted. I would rather people donate the money they would spend on me to a charity or some other good cause. I hadn’t thought of the idea of obligation reagarding birthdays before, but now I think of it, I agree.
My family has press-ganged me into a family diner somewhere this year, god help me.They ignored my request that its forgotten sadly. Luckily none of my friends can remember the date! Here’s to a quiet day!
Oh and Joesep, your comment on ” cpngratulations on your 23rd succesful rotation around the sun. WooHoo!” Made me laugh, I really need to remember that one! Lol.
August 7th, 2008 at 11:18 pm
[...] for my birthday for an astrology thing she’s into, but I didn’t give it to her because I don’t tell anyone my birthday. Despite the birthday thing I really liked her because she had spent six weeks in Japan and had [...]
August 8th, 2008 at 1:00 am
[...] for my birthday for an astrology thing she’s into, but I didn’t give it to her because I don’t tell anyone my birthday. Despite the birthday thing I really liked her because she had spent six weeks in Japan and had [...]