Meeting Annie
On July 28 I was in my RV heading back to Austin to surprise my friends.and family. As I drove, an e-mail buzzed in. A new comment on a Life Nomadic post, by a girl named Annie.
When I stopped in Dallas for the night I read the comment. A chunk of it:
I just found your website. Wow. I am a vegan, a writer and a budding entrepreneur, with a love for travel and minimalism. Every one of these themes is hit regularly here, so it’s no wonder I love keeping up. I’ve read the whole blog.
Wow, indeed. I’m a member of a number of minorities. Most of them have very little overlap, and my stubbornness makes me look for the same things in a girl.
Healthy vegan. Non Drinker. No drugs. Non religious. In shape. Good with money. Minimalist, etc.
I don’t expect girls to have these things in common with me. If I find a girl with just two or three, particularly the drinking and eating, I consider her to be truly exceptional. I meet almost no girls like that.
So you can imagine my excitement to read about a girl who was all of these things AND travels too. Impossible. She must be ugly.
She linked to her Flickr account in the comment, which I visited. After a few minutes of figuring out which one was her, I was shocked. She was really attractive.
I always sort of figured that I might meet someone through my site. Seventeen hundred people read every day. About ten percent are girls. That’s 170 girls a day who could match up. And actually I DID date one, but my sister told her about my site and I had met her before.
I sent Annie a short e-mail thanking her for reading the site and telling her to check out this one, since it covers a lot of the same topics. She wrote back and said that she has it bookmarked and is going to read the whole thing in one day. Three hundred and seventy posts.
The next day I got home and surprised my mom, who still thought I was in Europe.
“Wow! Tynan! I can’t believe it.”
“It’s great to see you mom!”
Big hug.
“Did you see that girl who posted on Life Nomadic? You need to e-mail her.”
No exaggeration. The second thing my mother said to me after not seeing me for seven months was about Annie. She wants grandchildren REALLY badly.
We sent a few e-mails back and forth, confirming even more similarities. We both hate weddings and don’t want to get married. We eat the same way. We have similar families and relationships with them.
A few days later we talked on the phone for and hour and a half. The whole call felt frantic, the kind of call where everything is agreed upon and there are no pauses for arguments. Saying “me too” is a terrible habit, but there was nothing else to say a lot of the time.
The next day came. What now? It was obvious we had to meet, but it was way too early. No girl is going to meet a guy that she met on the Internet after four e-mails and one phone call. Then again, if she really does think like me…
And of course, she agreed. Part of me was shocked, but the other part knew that there was no other choice she could make. The one catch was that we had to wait five weeks because her weekends were booked until then. That didn’t sit well with my impulsive tendencies, but it was the only way.
The first two weeks went by dreadfully slowly and the last three passed before I even noticed. Our daily e-mails became longer until the last few days before the trip when we had nothing left to ask.
We never once mentioned dating or anything of the sort, even though it was obvious what our motivations were. It’s dangerous to start going down that path with someone you’ve never met.
Every time I went back home my parents would offer advice.
“Are you going to get new pants?”
“Will you have flowers for her when she gets off the plane?”
“You’re not going to wear SANDALS, are you?”
Well meaning, but simultaneously hilarious.
And then finally the day came and I found myself nervously waiting for her in the lobby of the Las Vegas airport. She came down the escalator with just a small backpack like me and “Scattergories”, my favorite game, in the crook of her arm. When I saw that, all nervousness disappeared.
It didn’t take long for it to feel like we’d know each other forever. We went to Whole Foods as soon as we got there and cooked dinner together (really she did most of the work. I just chopped pears).
We saw shows, went to museum exhibits, rode amusement park rides, visited the Hoover dam, and ran around finding mischief.
Before we met, I tried to temper my optimism with the thought that maybe once I met her there would be something horribly wrong, or that there wouldn’t be any chemistry.
But she did everything right. I don’t mean that in the sense that she was trying to do things “right”, but rather that I wouldn’t have wished she had done anything different.
As we walked through the airport to leave we started talking about our next trip, which will be to Boston in a couple of weeks. In an e-mail after the trip she said that she wasn’t sad to say goodbye, but rather looking forward to the future.
That’s how I feel too. Awwwwwwwww….
(I know the photo is not that great. Much to my mother’s disappointment I forgot to take more photos of her.)
P.S. She’s waffling on starting a blog. In the comments encourage her to start one. She’s a really good writer (at least in e-mails, and it’s what she does), and she obviously has a lot in common with me.
P.P.S Her sisters read my site now, too. Hi, Birdie and Pearl.
(8 votes, average: 4 out of 5)
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September 26th, 2008 at 4:14 am
Cute story! Good luck!
September 26th, 2008 at 5:56 am
Umm… you know the weirdest part of your post? Especially since you’re supposed to be a guru-type PUA?
This one:
“No girl is going to meet a guy that she met on the Internet after four e-mails and one phone call.”
I pretty much dislike the whole PUA thing, for a number of reasons that are too lengthy to get into but center on self-respect, ethics, honesty etc. but I really could not believe you wrote that. I have met and gone to bed with women after I exchanged a few chat messages and then had one phone call with them. In the space of a few hours from first meeting them to being naked with them. And they were well-adjusted, cool girls, not some random skanky type as you seem to believe would be the only ones that would even meet someone so fast, never mind get intimate with them.
I don’t mean to sound critical, though I realise that’s probably how I come off. There is a point here, bt I am not sure how to make it politely…it’s sort of…like….trying to get you to realise maybe you should get your head out of your ass and see that a lot of the PUA stuff and consequent behaviour that goes with it is really just…geeky bullshit. There is some useful social behaviour knowledge in it, but really as a model for real relationships between well-adjusted human beings it sucks ass and is the equivalent of a meat-burger for vegetarians. You know, made with real meat but for consumption by vegetarians so now they too can enjoy the taste. Think of it as a slogan for an advert and you might get the sense/feeling of what I am trying to convey.
Of course we all have our own weird and wrong ways and I have as many as anyone, just…I dunno…sort of want to to get all PUAs together in one big room and tell them “Hey guys, guess what….98% of what you think about women and relationships and hence life in general connected to all that is FUCKING WRONG! Wake the fuck UP!” and you’re kind of a “representative” of that group so…yeah, you get to take this long-ass comment for them
But I mean well. The zap gun blaster shots are just my people’s way of saying hello
And good luck with Annie, she looks great and I wish you both the happiest of times.
G.
September 26th, 2008 at 8:35 am
G,
There’s a difference between the situation you described, and a girl being willing to fly across the country to meet you. And… it was my own gut feeling, nothing more.
A lot of PUA stuff seems unnecessary, but a better way to think of it is like scaffolding. You build it, and then later remove it, but couldn’t have made what you did without it.
Tynan
September 26th, 2008 at 8:50 am
Tynan, you didn’t tell me she had sisters when you were telling me about her. This is an important detail. You’re a terrible wing
WRITE A BLOG ANNIE!!!!!!!!!!
September 26th, 2008 at 9:19 am
Annie start a blog, I will read it!
September 26th, 2008 at 11:11 am
Ty,
I’ll be back in Andover the weekend of Oct 17th. Will you and Annie be around then? I’d love to hear more about your trip around the world.
September 26th, 2008 at 11:32 am
Hey Tynan,
Glad to see that the internet is filtering your girls for you!
I also thought it funny that you said “No girl would meet a guy after meeting a guy from the internet…”
One thing I’ve learned from pickup, and you’ve reinforced is: Do whatever the hell you want, as long as it makes you happy and doesn’t hurt anyone else!
And Annie–start a blog. The WORST case scenario is that you’ll learn a lot from it.
_Alex
September 26th, 2008 at 11:34 am
Sounds like a great girl, and pretty also. That’s rare, and if she shares a lot of your beliefs and analysis, then we need more people like that writing online.
September 26th, 2008 at 1:40 pm
Great story!
@Annie: You really should start a blog or at least write a guest post here. Since you share a lot of the same view as Tynan, your experiences with your lifestyle would be embraced with welcoming ears.
September 26th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
This is Annie’s sister Pearl. What a nice post you wrote about her! You covered everything about her so well! I especially liked “She must be ugly”. Ha! It’s okay, she isn’t! If there were t-shirts that said “Team Tynan”, I would wear one.
P.S. Thanks for the shout-out for me and Birdie, that’s so cool!
September 26th, 2008 at 7:59 pm
annie, you should write something for us
This was a great post by the way
I like what G said, but I guess once your past PUA stuff, you see it had some value, but it should be like a stage you passed through thats over, was geeky and now its over
like a good video game that you just had to finish
September 27th, 2008 at 8:20 am
You’re a lucky, lucky man.
Now I only have to wait for a “Non Drinker. No drugs. Non religious. In shape. Good with money. Minimalist, etc.” girl to come around as well.
Hundreds of girls stumble upon this site and with your whole life up on it for the world to view, it’s no wonder that someone would find you.
…Maybe it’s time to start a blog or six. Hahah.
Wish you the best of luck.
September 27th, 2008 at 9:13 am
This post is so sweet and she is so lovely, I got a little teared up! That’s awesome, Tyty. Way to go
September 27th, 2008 at 10:00 pm
How do you know the gender percentage breakdown of the people who visit your site?
September 28th, 2008 at 6:56 am
Hi Ty, it was good to see you the other day. Hope the air mattress was comfortable enough lol. You’re the first person who’s ever deflated & rolled it up for me before leaving… and left me a banana & can of beans, too!
Hm, it seems I’ve chosen to leave a comment within your Annie write-up. Hm… well, all I can say is I hope you gave her a ride on your electric skateboard.
September 28th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
Citizens of BTYB demand archive access
September 28th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
The people have spoken. Archives are working again.
Tynan
September 28th, 2008 at 5:02 pm
Annie please start a blog, you seem like such an awesome girl!
September 29th, 2008 at 6:33 am
Ahh there’s a girl! No wonder I can’t find Tynan online these days
jk.
I think what Tynan meant when he said “No girl is going to meet a guy that she met on the Internet after four e-mails and one phone call,” is that no “good, sane girl” would do that. It’s expected for a slut to go home with you as the commentator above mentioned, but not a well-balanced, self-confident, and all around awesome girl like Annie.
September 30th, 2008 at 2:48 pm
The real question is: will she still like you after she sees those swim “trunks”?
September 30th, 2008 at 4:49 pm
When I started reading your post I wanted to pipe in and say “Hey! I’m a healthy, single, non drinker, no drugs, gym 5 days a week, home owner, scientist, model and dancer who is not ugly! We are out there!
By the time I got through the post I was grinning, anxious for updates, and half expecting little heart effects to come from her pic. (beautiful woman BTW).
I hope magic happens and the PUA lives happily ever after with the wholesome vegan girl.If not… I live in Boston ;P
October 1st, 2008 at 2:11 pm
A few comments & observations. G, your criticism of PUA is pretty accurate. A quick and painful realization is that all that stuff works, to some extent, but only on specific types of women. You need to be a lot more together and well rounded if you plan on pulling that stuff across age groups, cultures, countries, and types. However, T nailed it … PUA is scaffolding for folks with esteem or social issues to build up an approach philosophy and confidence. Then you can take the scaffolding away and they can contintue to grow, learn, and generally mix things up as they move through life. Great metaphor T.
As for the comment regarding meeting a guy after 4 emails, and a phone chat … I’d say you’re sorta not taking into account the fact that she read all your posts on 2 separate blogs. That’s a life-time of info more than just 4 emails and a phone chat. So she definitely knew enough to be certain if she wanted to meet you or not.
Anyway, great post, hope all’s well. Peace.
p.s. Give me a shout if you’re ever in Seattle
October 14th, 2008 at 3:37 am
Lovely story, Tynan - a day-brightener!
Annie, please post the recipe to that scrumptious looking pie!