Hi! My Name is Tynan...

I'm an egomaniac vegan pickup artist who sold everything and is traveling around the world. I generally do whatever I want whenever I want, even when I'm pretty sure it's a bad idea. I like singing gangsta rap, writing, working out, working on my business, traveling, and finding adventure. I always wear a sequinned hat with stars on it.

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Better than Your Boyfriend is about self improvement. I'm talking about getting off the beaten path, forging your own interesting life, and living outside the box. Doing what you dream of doing. Relentless pursuit of excellence. No filler, rehashed ideas, or feel-goodery that doesn't bring results.

Miracle Berries

So… we ate Miracle Berries.

I know that sounds like I’m either a druggie or a hippie, but I swear I’m not.

Miracle Berries are this crazy fruit from West Africa. They’re bright red, have a large pit in them, and taste a bit like a weak grape. So why eat them? Because they have a protein in them called miraculin (seriously) that binds to the sour receptors on your tongue and makes sour things taste sweet for half an hour.

When I read about these, I had to have them. My friends and I pooled together and ordered 20 of them from Curtis Mozie, a miracle berry grower and farmer in Florida. They weren’t cheap - about $65 for the order which was shipped overnight to keep them fresh.

We arrived at Central Market and went totally nuts. Lemons, limes, grapefruit, kumquats, rhubarb, raspberries, varigated pink lemons, mayer lemons, and granny smith apples were all corralled in our shopping carts.

I have to admit that I was a bit skeptical. How could it be that this is the ONE food that alters your taste? It seemed ridiculous, but people on the internet raved about them. And you know… if people on the internet like it, it must be great.

We cut up all the fruit into bite sized pieces and ceremoniously ate our berries at the same time. We glanced at each other as if to say, “you feel anything?”

We didn’t. They tasted like almost nothing. Not unpleasant, but no real flavor of their own. As I spit out the pit and swallowed the fruit the aftertaste tasted mildly sweet.

Everyone reached excitedly for a lemon slice, with peel still attached, and chomped down. Almost simultaneously everyone said the same thing :

“Wow!”

It was amazing. We could eat lemons without so much as wincing - they tasted like sweet lemonade. Limes were amazing. The apples tasted about the same. Raspberries, kumquats, and mayer lemons tasted like candy. Rhubarb tasted like apples. I wasn’t too impressed with it until I tried some after the berries wore off. Totally inedible. Grapefruit was delicious and I don’t even like grapefruit.

The effect didn’t quite last half an hour. Maybe fifteen or twenty minutes of voracious eating. Eating two at once didn’t change anything.

All in all… pretty neat.

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4 Responses to “Miracle Berries”

  1. Seduction Says:

    That sounds awesome. What are the details of the grower in Florida?

  2. Seduction Says:

    Tynan,

    I wonder if you had a good bowl of vanilla icecream, and loaded it with lemons, raspberries, rhubarb, and other sour fruits. Take a bite of the miracle berries then gorge. I wonder what a taste sensation that would be or would the ice cream ruin it?

    Got Curtis’s details from Google:

    Curtis Mozie 410 SW 29th Terrace Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33312 U.S.A.

    Telephone: +1-954-587-3766
    Mobile: +1-954-270-7884

    Miracle fruit trees, fruit, and seeds or seedlings available by request.

  3. Anthony Says:

    Ha, I love it when you can actually try these things out for yourself…including polyphasic sleep…(I’m going for round two in a few weeks)

  4. Casper Says:

    That sounds awesome! A little pricey just for an experiment but you only live once!

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