Night Swinging
When I was younger, I loved playing on swings. My best friend Ryan and I would spend all of recess on the swings, making up new tricks and seeing who could jump further. Eventually it got to the point where ankles were being sprained and we had both perfected the backflip off the swing.
Now, many years later, I still love swinging despite encountering fewer opportunities to do it. One of the distinctive features at my new building is a large metal terrace hanging over the rooftop patio. Since moving in I’ve wanted to build a swing on it so that I could swing over the edge of the building.
I’m not sure why, but yesterday inspiration struck and I decided that it would be that day I built my swing. Evan and Jonah were with me. Evan was upset by the idea, worried that I might die. Jonah was also eager to swing, and helped me assure Evan that I did stuff like this all the time, and that I wouldn’t die. She wasn’t wholly convinced.
We arrived at Wal-Mart, the launching ground of many good schemes. We strode down the linoleum to the garden section, where the swings were.
“They’re outside. You can’t go there until 7am.”
Foiled!
Just kidding, I never get foiled. In fact, my resolve was even stronger. It wasn’t just a whim anymore, it was a challenge from the Wal Mart gods. Evan was cranky, probably because the prospect of me safely swinging was looking less likely. She suggested I wait until tomorrow.
I hate waiting until tomorrow, though. In a way I was glad there weren’t swings. I like having to be creative.
I zig zagged throught he aisles, looking for suitable swings. A woven rug looked promising, but had no way to attach the ropes to it. I finally found a boat bumper (you know those pill shaped things that make it so boats don’t hit the dock?) and decided it would be the seat of the swing.
The guy in the rope section was strange. He suggested a rope that was rated for 188lb. I weigh 140lb, and I guarantee you I weigh a lot more when swinging on a swing. Angered by our dissent, he left.
The other rope available was rated for 375lb. I figured that might be enough but didn’t remember enough Physics to really be sure. With some hesitation, I grabbed two 20′ lengths.
Then I caught sight of a beautiful thing. Nylon seatbelt-like tie down straps rated for 5000 pounds. Perfect. I bought one of those and another rated for 1000 as a backup.
We went home and got to work. The details of how we set it up are pretty boring, but in the end we made a fantastic swing out of the 5000lb strap and the bumper. It was even comfortable once I let the air out of the bumper.
As a safety we attached the 1000lb strap to a harness.
The first interesting thing I noticed is that if I was wearing the safety strap, it was no longer scary to stand on the edge of the building. I could lean forward over the edge with no fear at all. If I imagined I didn’t have the strap it got scary again.
I sat on the swing and kicked back. With a quick whoosh I was over the edge of the building looking two hundred feet down at the city below. It was magnificent. Jonah and I took turns riding the swing until it was time to go to sleep.
(4 votes, average: 5 out of 5)
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September 4th, 2006 at 4:42 am
Nut.
September 4th, 2006 at 6:56 am
Looks like fun! Hope the building management doesn’t mind. Oh, and the boat “bumper?” Proper nomenclature is “fender.” Strange but true. Just in case you care
September 4th, 2006 at 10:04 am
lol. That’s great, but your hat sucks.
September 4th, 2006 at 10:10 am
1. I was cranky because you took me to Wal-Mart, the worst place on earth.
2. I would like to point out that Steve Irwin, aka the crocodile hunter died (http://www.cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/TV/09/04/australia.irwin/index.html). He was stabbed through the chest by a sting ray. If I had been there I would have said “Wow Steve, chillin with sting rays seems like a really dangerous thing to do. Why don’t you go spend some quality time with your awfully named children, Bob and Bindi Sue?” And I’m certain he would have replied, “Crikey Evan! I pull insane stunts like this all the time. Dangerous and temperamental creatures of the wild love me. So bugger off.”
And look at what became of him!
So MAYBE you should listen to your old pal once in a while. K thx.
September 4th, 2006 at 10:45 am
just looking at those pictures made me nervous…
September 4th, 2006 at 11:45 am
For the record, my hat kicks ass.
Tynan
September 4th, 2006 at 2:56 pm
way the fuck nuts…
September 4th, 2006 at 5:06 pm
What makes me nervous is whether or not the straps that are attached to the seat and the roof secure.
September 4th, 2006 at 5:41 pm
Dude!! I’m coming over to swing! Awesome.
BTW, crotch picture is great and is in my camera waiting to be emailed. However, camera is in New York. I should be able to get it by Wednesday.
J
September 4th, 2006 at 7:33 pm
That is insane.
And I am jealous.
September 4th, 2006 at 10:14 pm
The swing looks well constructed, yeah!
September 5th, 2006 at 12:38 am
You suck for not calling or txt’ing me.
September 5th, 2006 at 11:59 am
I don’t think you have a death wish so much as you think you are immortal. Either way….huge balls.
September 5th, 2006 at 12:36 pm
Better than my boyfriend? Try: More Childish than my Husband! What is wrong with men, anyway?
September 5th, 2006 at 10:23 pm
Yeah, we should all be as boring as your ass, Trilby.
“Night swinging, deserves a quiet time…”
September 5th, 2006 at 11:48 pm
That looks fun as hell, crazy, but fun as hell.
September 6th, 2006 at 2:03 am
That. Is. Awesome.
September 6th, 2006 at 7:17 am
Brilliant.
September 6th, 2006 at 7:01 pm
The more dangerous it is, the more I approve.
September 11th, 2006 at 7:49 am
Oh wow. I feel nervous even looking at that. It’s really, really awesome.
How is the seatbelt attached to the roof? I imagine seat belts would be tricky to tie properly since they’re generally slippery.
Please reply (I.e. please don’t be hospitalised
September 11th, 2006 at 10:53 am
Swinging Off a Balcony…
Looks like another contender for the 2007 Darwin awards. Now, many years later, I still love swinging despite encountering fewer opportunities to do it. One of the distinctive features at my new building is a large metal terrace hanging……
September 11th, 2006 at 2:07 pm
Yeah man. That’s really friggen smart. Why don’t you have a few beers before going on the swing?
September 12th, 2006 at 7:57 am
is this in Austin?
September 12th, 2006 at 1:35 pm
Yeah, it’s Austin
September 21st, 2006 at 1:19 am
It’s so bizare it’s cool. That would be awesome for late night.
September 21st, 2006 at 12:27 pm
holy. fucking. shit.
September 30th, 2006 at 7:25 am
How many metres is that above the ground? I’ll bet the view is awesome…
December 4th, 2006 at 5:03 am
That’s badass idea! I feel the adrenalin flowing in my blood only from watching the pics.
December 12th, 2006 at 4:36 am
Damn..that is really scary…But what a thrill…wish I had the balls to pull it off.
December 14th, 2006 at 10:02 pm
i thought your hat was hot. it made me think you were cute…. i don’t know why
December 18th, 2006 at 11:02 am
I am terrified looking at that.
It is the coolest thing ever. (I proclaim that a lot; the previous coolest thing ever was an RC plane with flappy wings. An RC dragonfly, if you will.)
March 15th, 2007 at 2:27 pm
IM TRYING THAT
November 8th, 2007 at 12:31 am
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July 4th, 2008 at 8:17 am
you should make a post on how to make your own swing. lol.
July 21st, 2008 at 2:29 pm
110 percent GLORIOUS. Much better than what I thought the post would be about, i.e, wife-swapping.