Hi! My Name is Tynan...

I'm an egomaniac vegan pickup artist who sold everything and is traveling around the world. I generally do whatever I want whenever I want, even when I'm pretty sure it's a bad idea. I like singing gangsta rap, writing, working out, working on my business, traveling, and finding adventure. I always wear a sequinned hat with stars on it.

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Better than Your Boyfriend is about self improvement. I'm talking about getting off the beaten path, forging your own interesting life, and living outside the box. Doing what you dream of doing. Relentless pursuit of excellence. No filler, rehashed ideas, or feel-goodery that doesn't bring results.

Six Awesome Things

I woke up this morning at 4:46am. I went to sleep at 11:30pm, so that’s approaching reasonable. As soon as I woke up I began thinking of how great some things are, so I got my laptop and now I’m in the dark writing about them. That’s inspirado.

1. Blankets. How cool is it that blankets don’t use any electricity? If I was a supreme deity of the earth and one of my minions said, “Look at those humans. They’re making big cotton pancakes and sleeping underneath them because they think that will keep them warm,” I would seriously question why I built humans in the first place.

It’s just so cool that we generate enough body heat to keep ourselves warm like that. I would expect that it would help maybe, but that we’d still need external heat.

2. Soup. I’m not talking about thin miso soups (although I do like those as well), but rather nice thick hearty soups. Soup is awesome because you can eat it with a spoon or fork (if it’s really thick), but if you’re in a rush you can also drink it. I like that about smoothies too - a nice healthy meal you can drink.

3. Waterproof gear. Last night Todd and I walked a mile and a half to go to our dinner restaurant and back. It wasn’t pouring, but it wasn’t drizzling either. Just a solid light rain. I had my waterproof shoes, pants, and jacket on and I got to walk around in a little bubble of dry and warm comfort. When we got back to the house I was totally dry. Amazing. If I was a jungle animal I would be very jealous about this, probably even more than soup.

4. Couches. Think back on cave man days. There was pretty much nothing that was very comfortable to sit on except possibly the pelt of a woolly mammoth. Yesterday we sat around in the park to look at the Cherry Blossoms. This was totally awesome in every way, but I have to admit that my butt was not super comfortable after a while. Couches are amazing because not only are they very comfortable, but you can also sit on them in a lot of different ways. Chairs are good too, but aren’t nearly as flexible.

5. Dreams. If some tech company invented dreams we would all be so excited about them. Especially white people. But since they’re built in, we don’t really care that much.

“Did you buy a dream last night? I love that I can go to the movies while I sleep!”

Think about it - it’s like a brand new movie, custom tailored to you, that’s SUPER engaging and feels real. Best of all, you get to watch it while you’re SLEEPING, which is something you have to do anyway. I had a weird dream last night about going to my friend Terry’s house to help him find a receipt because he bought my old car in the dream and needed to get it fixed.

6. Soap. Who would have ever thought that we could make a nice smelling goo that, when rubbed on something filthy, will magically make it clean. I have only a very loose grasp of how soap works, so it’s pretty amazing too me. I hate cleaning so much that I can’t imagine how bad it would be without soap.

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8 Responses to “Six Awesome Things”

  1. Seduction Chronicles Says:

    Awesome. I’ve often lay on my bed early in the morning with thoughts streaming into my mind about the many cool things there are in this world that we take for granted.

  2. Kristen Says:

    I think this is seriously my favorite post you’ve ever written.

    It’s great that someone can be fascinated with simple objects for simple reasons and not take them for granted. I wish everyone could think in such a way- joyful and uninhibited. I like that.

  3. Danny Says:

    I loved your post.

    I do the same thing as an exercise to enhance my story-telling and imagery when in conversation.

    I keep it simple and bring out the best in the blandest thing.

  4. dave Says:

    1. blankets. take some chemistry and or biology. it won’t be surprising any more that we generate heat from chemical reactions inside the body.

    2. waterproof gear. chemistry again.

    6. soap. chemistry again. ever see “fight club”?

    sorry if i am missing the point… i am a ut chem eng student. the other stuff i agree with you on.

  5. Gruntie Says:

    I like to start my day with soap, then perhaps some soup while sitting on the couch. At the end of my day I like to suggle in the blankets with one of my girlfriends.

    Gruntie

  6. jade Says:

    yay for all those above things.
    lovely lil things.

  7. Angell Says:

    I love that dreams comment. So true. Sometimes I wake up in the night and hear weird noises (I live on a boat so there’s loads of weird noises all the time) and then that influences my dreams. Dreams remixed!

  8. Eric Says:

    haha “especially white people”

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